SPENDING TIME WITH MY LONG-DISTANCE ARIZONA GRANDKIDS!

Asher became our granddaughter in 2004 at the age of five.  Jeremy and Kristalee, both single parents, married in November of that year.  Now, at age 11, she's entering in those pre-teen years that can be so confusing to her as well as her parents.  Because I don't get to see her often because of the distance between us, one of my goals was  to spend time with her these two weeks we were in Arizona.  I gotta tell ya, Asher has the coolest room!  Her bed is over her study desk.  I absolutely loved it!  It's a bed loft, in a sense.

We shut the door in her room and I became a school girl myself.  (Well, I WISH!)  But back to reality, we talked about her love of art and writing.  Her teacher is giving her class an art appreciation course so she was giving me all these detailed facts about Miro, Degas, Jackson Polluck, and others.  Because my husband and I collect regional art, we are very interested in the visual arts.  (Our son is a bronze and silicone sculptor as well!)  Hearing a grandchild discussing this with excitement truly tripped my trigger!!  Before long, however, our conversation led to her one favorite piece of art:

Should have known!!  After I wrestled her lips off of Beiber and pulled her back to the life of a pre-teen, she began acting her age!  (I don't know about the weirdo standing next to her, however!)

Our little Jeremiah, or JJ as we affectionately call him, is a five-year-old in constant motion!  You can hardly get your arms around him because he is always moving, most notably in football formations.  He is a football fanatic (along with Carter),  especially the Iowa Hawkeyes!  I personally think he could be the cutest mascot they've ever had!  GO HAWKS!!!!

WHAT ONE SHOULDN'T DO IN ARIZONA :(

A SOUTHWESTERN SHAKESPEAREAN TRAGEDY
A PLAY IN ONE CRUEL ACT

NARRATOR:  Oh hail, thou robust Carnegiea gigantea (or in words of wretched common men, thou bristly miniature saguaro cactus!)  How majestic thou art, with thy arms extending heavenward!  How beautiful, how sweetly innocent, how cute!

                          

                           

HOTTIE HUSBAND:  Come thou forward, crazy woman, my bride!!  Thou wild and crazy grandmother with whom I have born twelve towers of legacy!  WOMAN, helpest thou me move this weighty Carnegiea gigantea to elevated land where sun and warmth, moisture and vibrant winds shall replenish the life therein!  My BRIDE, thou must guardest with all thy might the very life of my joy, my 'wittle baby plant, my horticultural dream.  If thou allowest the least of harm, upon my life I promise thee retribution!
                        

THE SUBMISSIVE WIFE:  I beg thee, master, be patient with me!  My tender arms, my fleshly hands shall guard thy plant, thy eternal hope, thy baby, upon thy dolly!!!

(Aside to Audience) SUBMISSIVE WIFE:  Oh, help me, powers on high....I feel my strength has weakened.  I, standing here, am aging, youth has slipped by, and I have nothing but stretch marks on my womb, wrinkles on the forehead my beloved used to kiss!!!  Thy eyelids have so droooped that I cannot even see the beauty of the day.....WOE IS ME!  But, alas, I must garner my strength that I might steady my beloved's plant!

(Husband strongly places plant on dolly as the nervous, submissive wife dutifully guards with all her might, weak as it may be.......SUDDENLY, plant begins to jiggle and wobble, about to FALL TO DESTRUCTION!  Wife does what should NEVER be done in Arizona!!!!!!

EPILOGUE:  THE SUBMISSIVE WIFE, IN HER SENSE OF DUTY, IS FEELING THE WEIGHT OF HER SUBMISSION EVERY TIME SHE USES HER LEFT HAND.  BUT, THAT SACRIFICE IS WORTH PROVING HER LOVE TO HER BELOVED!

GOOGLING HAS HELPED THE SUBMISSIVE WIFE LEARN THAT USING DUCT TAPE OR WAX WILL PULL OUT THE NEEDLES THAT HAVE EMBEDDED HER SUBMISSIVE HAND.

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THUS, THIS PLAY, THIS TRAGEDY OF ALL TRAGEDIES, HAS COME TO ITS CLOSE.

LET US PAY TRIBUTE TO THE WILD 'N CRAZY GRANDMA FOR THIS SACRIFICE!

HOWDY!!!!!!!!!!!!! YEEEEEHAWWWWWWWWWWW !!

I'm telling ya...this Arizona air is giving me a high!!!:)  Another day of hiking and I feel exhilarated, like I'm a new woman!  I'd almost like to trade in my profession (whatever that may be) and become an Arizona cowgirl.  I'd live out in the dessert, have me some wild hawsees, learn how to lasso, go up thar to Wyoming and help drive them herds to heaven knows where! I'd hate to think where those herds actually do go, but that's another post.  WE HAVE A SURVEY TO FINISH!!  I sound like a persnickety teacher, don't I?  Well, my condolences.  Here are question #3 and #4.  (Read previous post to see the first two questions to young moms.)

Question #3:  Do you have any complaints in regard to how your parents or your spouse's parents grandparent your children?

More than one mom stated that they resent grandparents who criticize their form of discipline or take on the role of parents in disciplinary areas.  Usually, the moms explained, it was not a case where the grandparents wanted to teach, instruct the kids as to why their behavior was inappropriate.  Rather, it was that the behavior was simply irritating to the grandparents.

Another "burr in their saddles" was the moms' aversion to "Time Spent" versus "Spending Money to Buy Love."  We all know kids in the end would rather have time than money, as alluring as money is!  In addition, a controlling grandmother was a problem for another mom.  In fact, she shared that this grandmother was described by one of her boys as "the granma who says she is gonna spank us!"  According to Mom, she doesn't put any effort in pursuing a relationship with the boys whatsoever.

Finally, a mom of seven children stated that one of the kids' grandmothers truly cared for the children and fostered a loving relationship with them.  However, because they live a long ways from  them, she never attends the children's graduations, etc,, and the children probably see the grandma only 8 days a year.  This distresses the mother.  On the other side of the family tree, the grandpa is mean, crabby and makes little effort in knowing the kids.

Question #4:  When your children become adults, what do you envision their memories will be of their grandparents?

Time spent chatting, watching movies together, going places together are probably the top activities in response to this last question.  The parents of one of our families were born and grew up in the Netherlands.  The children will always remember trips "across the pond" to see Grandma and Grandpa and all the cousins, aunts and uncles, etc. 

Holiday memories were also mentioned, as well as the homes themselves.  I thought that quite interesting.  Place is significant.  For example, I have had two of our twelve grandchildren ask me if they could buy our house after we are gone.  The Suzee Room (see previous blog) is hopefully going to be a very happy memory for my kids!

In conclusion, the cooking expertise of a couple of grandmas here will be remembered for those great meals when they were just tots.  Also, the aforementioned "Camp Chaos" will be remembered by the kids of another family interviewed.  Can you imagine what happens at a camp in Colorado with 9 kids and no parents???  I bet they'll have stories for all eternity!

YOUNG MOMS TALK TO ME ABOUT THEIR KIDS' GRANDPARENTS

Lately, I have been somewhat pensive and philosophical about how high my marks REALLY are in grandparenting.  I have nervously imagined hearing a knock on my door and opening it to find the disguised undercover CEO of  "Greatest Grandparents International."  Would he dump me or love me as one of his employees???? 

To research this more clearly,  I decided to survey a number of young moms about their children's grandparents.  I gave them four questions.  The answers below are summaries of all the women.  This project has helped me clarify some things I am doing well, and others that I need to work on.

Question #1:  For your children's sake, what one quality of grandparenting is most important to you?

There seemed to be a common thread running through the answer to this question.  And that common thread was love for the grandchildren, including kindness towards them.  One mom stressed her desire that grandparents enter her child's world, which assumes that the grandparent loves that particular child just as he is.  And that grandma and grandpa know the likes and dislikes of each individual personality.  Obviously, this demands consistent communication which these mothers believe is the grandparents' responsibility to intitiate.  Another mom voiced her desire for grandparents to leave a spiritual legacy with their grandchildren, passing on the positive character traits associated with the their faith. 

Another non-negotiable was TIME.  Time spent with grandchildren "covers a multitude of sins."  Actually the Bible verse in Proverbs reads " Love covers a multitude of sins."  I think you get the point.  Time spent in a child's eye proves to them that grandma and grandpa truly care about who they are as human beings.

Question #2:  What do your children enjoy most about their two grandmothers?

The answers to this question were widely varied, but most of the answers demanded time spent.  Some saw creative play and going  places, taking trips as important factors in their children's hearts and minds.  One mom stated that her seven children enjoyed one of their grandma's  crazy sense of humor, as well as her investing a sincere interest in each of their individual lives.  Another mom related the yearly event that one of their grandmas offer: CAMP CHAOS.  This camp is located in the granmother's home state of Colorado and attracts all nine grandchildren and NO PARENTS.  God bless that grandma's soul!!!! 

Another grandmother prefers to cook for the children, cooking their favorite foods for a special meal time.  Although this grandma doesn't really "do" anything with the children, her language of love is in preparing this special meal. 

Tomorrow we will look at question #3 and #4.  Right now I am planning on spending the rest of this evening with my love.....Bill, with whom I've been married 40 years, 8 months!  We shared a wonderful meal together down here in Arizona after a day of hiking in the mountains at Cave Creek.  Look forward to talking to "YA'LL" tomorrow!

NEW PHENOMENON: ATTITUDE GLASSES

SHOULD GRANDMAS SUPPORT THIS LATEST FAD?



All right, grandmas everywhere, I will admit that the craze of "attitude glasses" is a controversial subject.  Parents have enough behavioral problems starting in those pre-teen years and even younger.  There is nothing more distasteful as kids rolling their eyes when asked to make their beds, help pick up the dishes, or get off the couch.  Hey, but look at that adorable little boy Carter David and those monstrous attitude glasses.  Ain't he jus plentifully adorable?  And does he look like the kind of kid who would punch ya in the tummy if you offered him your freshly baked chocolate chip cookies???  NOT!

Because I am a woman of truth,  this is the place in the story where I must make a personal confession to all my readers.  Go fetch your reading spectacles, sit down and brace yourself.  I BOUGHT LAUREN A PAIR OF "ATTITUDE" GLASSES FOR CHRISTMAS.  I EVEN BOUGHT A PAIR FOR MYSELF!

Here's my take on all of this.  If kids ask for attitude glasses for Christmas, give them a pair to "play" having an attitude.  They will see "attitudes" as something that exists in their play world, not real life.  Then as they grow older, they will find having an attitude simply boring having already practiced "attitudes" in their play experience, and they will leave bad attitudes behind to discover other more interesting endeavors!.

Whew!  After getting all the "yucky stuff" out, Lauren and the wild 'n crazy grandma were the sweetest perdiest litt'l things you ever done seen.  We both agreed that we would never want to be like this in real life!!!  (Just ask Lauren's mommy!)



TREASURE THE GIFT OF LIFE!!!

December was a crazy month of ups-and-downs!!!  The death of our friend, the stress of the holidays, medical issues, and my eldest son's critical surgery was enough to put the wild and crazy grandma UNDER!!!  Thank my Lord for His strength and love to keep me from falling apart.

There are many ways to be refreshed.  Some read books (that's me), others go into denial, some reach out to friends and are truly "refueled,"  but below was God's prescription for me:

                       GOD'S RX FOR GRANDMA!!!

The symptoms:  overly stressed, blubberly butt, and limited exercise - hand to mouth, hand to mouth, and grouchiness.  Boy, the Lord knew -- ARIZONA was what Grandma needed to get back in shape!!!  So here am I with my hubby in sunny Arizona, with temperatures averaging low to mid-60's.  I'll take that.

              Our Family Thanks God for Jeremy's Life!!

Remember the critical surgery that I mentioned?  This is my eldest son Jeremy.  Do you know what a blessing it is to see this picture with him able to stand up, able to move his arms, able to swallow??  I realize that we take life soooooo for granted!!  Mid-December he was having difficulty walking, writing and other issues that indicated he was experiencing spinal impingement.  The doctors felt like they needed to operate immediately to prevent paralysis in his upper extremities.  He is the daddy of four of my grandchildren. 

This put our whole family in turmoil.  WOW, did all of us get on our knees and cry out to God?  YOU BET WE DID!!  Because his wife had to attend her uncle's funeral in another state, Jeremy presently is staying with us.  In beautiful Arizona, Bill and I are nursing him back to health.  It seems that since the surgery, Jeremy has a different perspective on his 38 years of life.  He told us:  "It is true that most of us, if not all, take life for granted.  After going through this experience, I can say that I have a deeper God-given appreciation for this wonderful life with which He has blessed us all."  And folks, what more can I say?

GOD WORKS IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS - TRIBUTE TO AN ANGEL?

One month ago, I looked out of my kitchen window and saw a small, thin woman opening the door of her car sitting in the driveway of our small blue gingerbread rental house across the street.  Her blond hair pulled back in a low pony tail, she appeared to be a woman in her mid-thirties.  Two children emerged from the car after her, a girl 10 years of age and her brother, 11.  A nice family, I remember thinking. 
                                                                                                                                                    
In our 25 years of living in our home, we have seen numerous people come and go in that special little blue gingerbread house across the street.  It is as if God used these tenants to bless my husband and me.  For example, I remember Vivian, a single mom who sought refuge in that house after her husband tried to shoot her.  The little house became  the house of safety.  Another memory involved a  Laotian couple who lived there for a couple years and with whom we became good friends..  In fact, we just talked with Ching Kham a few days ago.  He called to wish us a "Merry Christmas!" 


In actuality, the structure of the little blue gingerbread house is not level, the plaster on some of the walls is peeling off.  The kitchen is too small to fit in a kitchen table!  But it is cozy!!!  When my husband showed (we'll call her) Angel the house, she loved it.  She saw all the creative potential it would offer her and her adorable children.


I have to share this part of the story with you.  I first met the children when my husband sent them across the street to our house to use our facilities.  I can't explain this other than to say I felt a spiritual bond with these two precious kids.  They had such delightful spirits and radiant faces.  I decided I could easily be an adoptive grandma to these two!


Angel brought no furniture.  We offered her various options for furniture but in her sweet way diverted the conversation to another subject.  She had a history of serious physical problems.  All her close-knit family was thousands of miles away in another state.  But the father of her children  happened to live in our small town.  It was best if children had both parents nearby, she explained to me.  She also shared with me that she felt the pace of life in our part of the country was better suited for raising kids than in a crime-ridden, highly populated metropolis.


After about a month of living in the small blue gingerbread house, I noticed there were no lights on for five or six days.  Her car was still in the driveway.  I did not see the kids out in the yard.  So I called her, inviting her to dinner that next week.  To my surprise, she informed me she had been ambulanced away to a hospital about an hour away from us.  She mentioned she would be released that next day.  I offered to pick up her.  She graciously accepted.  The ride home with Angel was memorable, sweet, and a conversation I will never forget.  The sweet spirit she exuded and the love she expressed for her children....it  was precious.


5 days later, Angel died, at an alarming young age.  Her life-giving organs gave out. 


 In a few days I will be attending Angel's memorial service.  Why did God bring this special young woman into my life?  I cannot answer that question.  But I am pretty sure Angel knew what was about to happen.  And she  had a plan to take care of her beloved children.  What love and sacrifice!  And maybe, just maybe, God will enable me to be a surrogate grandma to those two darling children.