MY 2011 WISH FOR YOU

              LET'S GO GET 'EM IN 2011!!!!!

THE LAND OF NARNIA?

                                         GOD'S GLORY IS ON TOUR IN THE SKIES,
                                         GOD-CRAFT ON EXHIBIT ACROSS THE HORIZON! 
                                                              PS. 119:1 THE MESSAGE 
                                                         
This morning my husband and I woke up, debating whether or not we had walked through the wardrobe door into the land of Narnia!  Frost and snow covered every tree limb as if a fairy had sprinkled her wand, fairy dust transforming the landscape into a mystical play land.   As I stepped out the door into the frigid dawn hours, it was the absence of sound that impressed me.  Stillness.....

This quietness, this beauty reminded me of something Paul Young wrote in his first novel, The Shack:  "Snow or freezing rain suddenly releases you from expectations, performance demands, and the tyranny of appointments and schedules.......All those affected this way are united by a mutual excuse, and the heart is suddenly and unexpectedly a little giddy.  There will be no apologies needed for not showing up to some commitment or other.  Everyone understands and shares in this singular justification, and the sudden alleviation of the pressure to produce makes the heart merry." (pg. 15)

MY FAVORITE CHRISTMAS GIFT and THE BEST PRESENTS FOR MY DOZEN

This last weekend after Fin's dance recital (ohhhhh, the drama....it was tooooo cute!!!), Lauren and Carter wanted to come up to Grandma and Grandpa's house.  We baked cookies, Grandpa and Carter played football, and then we ate our homemade soup - YUMMY!  Soon it was time to take them back to Matt and Carey's.  I had cleaning up to do, so Bill transported them back home.  As I was by the backdoor, which is in our laundry room, I noticed something on my blackboard.  You know, the "thing" that saves my life.  I put my grocery lists, my medicine refills, my "do not forget" lists....you get the idea.  Anyway, little did I realize my favorite Christmas gift was awaiting me:

                            LAUREN'S BEST GIFT TO ME!



    THE BEST PRESENTS FOR MY DOZEN GRANDKIDS

• Yesterday's blog brought up JOY, PEACE, and LOVE.  How does one transmit these qualities?  One thing I've learned, it is not by lecturing.  It is more by osmosis.  Providing a joyful environment when they come to grandparents' homes is a starter.  Am I joyful in my spirit?  Can I put my worries and fears in the hands of God so I have a free spirit?  Do I speak in a voice that is peaceful -- not yelling, using cutting sarcasm, or fighting with my husband?  Do I talk negatively about other people in front of my grandchildren?  Those kinds of considerations are important in transmitting joy, peace and love.
• Do I help them to see the world from above, not below?  By this, I mean do we help them see our circumstances from God's perspective?  Do we discuss the good and bad parts of the world to our kids in a way that they understand the reality of our world without sensationalizing, causing fear and insecurity?
• I want to pass down a vibrant faith in my grandchildren.  But in doing so, there are also challenges.  We live in a diverse culture.  Living the Christian faith, as the Bible clearly reveals, is a life that can include suffering.  I desire that they remain strong.

• What we give our grandchildren is not taught in a sit-down, one-time lesson.  It is continuous, day by day.  That is hard work.  We need consistency.  I remember when I was raising my brood, that was, indeed the most difiicult task.  Consistency gives a bedrock of security to our kids like a solid rock on which to rest!  An art piece in our home truly says it all:

This interesting guy is throwing out seeds to the ground, and you can see the flowers that are growing around his feet.  The sack he is holding in his right arm has a very important message:

Grandmas, we have a very important task ahead of us in 2011.  We need to nurture our kids one day at a time!  God bless!

(P.S.  This piece by artist Betsy Peterson was entered into an art exhibit at Iowa State University in Ames, Iowa.  The exhibit highlighted children's resiliency.)




                      

HEY GRANDMAS OUT THERE: ARE YOU MODELING PEACE OR STRESS THIS CHRISTMAS SEASON? ? ?

THREE DAYS LEFT UNTIL CHRISTMAS DAY!!!  OK, things are a little hectic out there.  In fact, it is getting down-right crazy!  I want you to close your eyes, take a deep breath, slowly breathe it out, beathe in again, let it out.  Now go to your "happy place" and read this whole post with (1) a glass of hot tea, or (2) a cup of cafe latte, or (3) two valium tablets with water, or (4) a jug of Templeton Rye!  All right, all right, I'm only kidding about #3 and #4  Just try to have a sense of humor!  It is time for us wild grandmas to exhibit not-so-crazy behavior for our little ones this frenetic season.  I realized a few days ago that the American culture is in deep "do-do" during the holidays.  My hubby and I had some shopping to do at the largest mall in our area.  As we were squinting our eyes trying to find a parking place closer than 2 football fields away, I saw a sight I had never before seen at a parking mall:

CRAZY MAN PARKS PICK-UP TRUCK AT 135 DEGREE ANGLE ON "AISLE BOULEVARD" AND TIPPING DANGEROUSLY CLOSE TO BUSY STREET!!!

This guy has to be stressed to the MAX!  He must have had a nasty quarrel with his boss, his wife burnt his dinner, and he has all his Christmas shopping to do and no idea what to buy!  What could be worse for the male gender???

When you find yourself at the mall, sit down in one of the FEW chairs available and just study people's faces as they pass you by.  How many of them look happy?  How many of them look downright disgusted?  Or how many of them are tired, stressed out?  I find that most are the latter.  So many of us become so entangled in the materialistic aspects of the holiday that we can hardly wait until January 1 hits.  I confess I feel that way many times.  I become so wrapped up with what each one of my twelve grandkids have to have for a gift that it becomes drudgery.

Let's go back to our "happy place."  Let's think about what Christmas represents.  These images come to my mind!!!

                                JOY

Joy is being with loved ones -- those in our hearts as well as those we can touch, talk to, and share in each others' lives.  Sitting around a beautifully decorated table with those we love is ultimate joy.  One tradition our family enjoys having with these special dinners is a "question of the night."  My husband will announce the question before the meal begins to give everyone time to think about what to say.  Questions like, "What is your favorite Christmas memory?" or "If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?"  Our children and grandchildren love the discussions these questions bring.


Another image that comes to mind which is in direct opposition to stress:

                                         NATIVITY BY ARTIST BETSY PETERSON

                          PEACE

The angels represent "peace."  They announced the baby Jesus with pronouncements of peace!  Isn't that what we all desire?  Peace among the nations?  I hate war!  Innocent children being hurt or even killed.  We desire peace within our families.  As moms and grandmas, we hate it when our kids fight and hurt one another with words or physical attacks.  We want peace with God, peace in human relationships.  I believe that someday we will see peace!!

And the ultimate Christmas image is........

                                                       NATIVITY BY ARTIST BETSY PETERSON

                           LOVE

Love is the greatest gift of all!  The nativity embodies the ultimate gift....LOVE!  Think of God, think of his love for you.  Isn't it remarkable?  Love is why we put up with all our grandkids' antics!!!  We love unconditionally, just like God loves us.  Whoa....what a gift.  I want to think on these things:  joy, peace and love.  It's hard, but I am going to refuse to stress and focus on those things money cannot buy.


MERRY CHRISTMAS AND GOD BLESS!!!!

 

                                   

SUPER SOUP SUPPER FOR CHRISTMAS EVE!!

NINE MORE DAYS UNTIL CHRISTMAS!  Guess what the wild and crazy gramma has been doing every day this week!??  I have been stirring up my brew!  We have a tradition that I just love.  Every Christmas Eve we have four soups to choose from, and every year they're the same four!  That's because Matt likes chili and Sarah likes chicken noodle, and Grandpa Bill loves my vegetable beef.  Soooooo...I thought I'd share a recipe with my readers this morning.  KILLER GARLIC VEGETABLE BEEF SOUP!

GARLIC VEGETABLE BEEF SOUP

I BUY A MARBLED CHUCK ROAST WITH THE BONE IN. SALT AND PEPPER ROAST AND SEAR ON ALL SIDES ADDING CLOVES OF FRESH GARLIC AS YOU BROWN IT.  PLACE IN ROASTING PAN WITH 1/2 CUP WATER.  CUT YELLOW ONION AND PLACE DESIRED AMOUNT OF ONION ON TOP OF ROAST.  ADD AGAIN FRESH GARLIC.  COVER AND COOK SLOWLY AT 325 DEGREES UNTIL TENDER.

WHILE ROAST IS COOKING, CUT UP VEGETABLES. (I PREFER TO CUT UP IN SMALLER SIZES LIKE 1/2 INCH CUBES OF POTATOES.)   I USE 2-3 LARGE POTATOES, 3 OR 4 CARROTS, CANNED GREEN BEANS, DRAINED OR SNAP SWEET PEAS, 1 LRG ONION, AND I THROW IN SOME FROZEN MIXED VEGETABLES.  YOU CAN ADD VEGETABLES AT YOUR LIKING. 

AFTER THEY ARE CUT UP, BROWN ALL VEGGIES IN OLIVE OIL AND FRESH GARLIC UNTIL SEMI-TENDER. 

AFTER ROAST IS COOKED, ALLOW TO COOL.  SHRED INTO BITE-SIZE PIECES.  KEEP SHREDDED MEAT IN ROASTING PAN IF SUITABLE FOR ADDING STOCK AND VEGETABLES.  IF NOT, TRANSFER ALL THE DRIPPINGS INTO SOUP POT.  ADD EMERIL'S OR RACHEL RAY'S BEEF STOCK (NOT BROTH).  I USE TWO OF THE LARGE STOCK SIZE CARTONS.  ADD THE VEGETABLES AND SIMMER UNTIL VEGETABLES ARE TENDER.  KEEP TESTING BROTH FOR SEASONING PREFERENCES. 

I hope your family enjoys this as much as ours!  Even the kids will eat this!!!!

WHAT TO DO WITH THAT CREATIVE ENIGMATIC CHILD????

MEET FINLEY

                                 


                                           

                      MEET FINCENT VAN GOGH

When you have twelve grandchildren, you're bound to have one of these!!  Finley is the girl in the backseat of my Jeep pointing out a rainbow, exclaiming, "Gramma, look at the orange rainbow!!!  Isn't it pretty?"  Or "Gramma, why are those clouds down in the sky like that?"  She sees the beauty of falling autumn leaves.  I'll forever hold in my heart the image of her standing at our family room sliding door looking out as the wind gently rained down orange, red, and yellow leaves off our maple and elm trees!!  She was genuinely mesmerized by the beauty of it all....simple joys of nature, of life!!!  And she is three years old! 

On the other end of the spectrum, however, I painfully remember the day I am babysitting at my daughter's home. It is time for lunch, and Fin is in one her moods where she doesn't very much like her wild and crazy gramma.  She tells her gramma that she doesn't want her lunch.  I say, "Finley, Gramma made you chicken nuggets, carrots and milk for lunch, and it is time for you to eat."  I pick her up like a football and carry her over to the table as she screams bloody murder, sit her down as she flings her plate (holding all the food!) through the air like a frisbee, pelting the kitchen cupboards and floors with carrots, milk, and nuggets of chicken!!!  Then Finley is mad, hurt, and unwilling to repent, feeling Gramma has wounded her psyche for life! 


Such is the study of contrasts typical of the CREATIVE enigmatic child.  These kids are different from the typical first-born who tend to be perfectionistic, many times bossy, self-righteous leader-types.  And these kids from a different planet don't fit into the category of social butterflies either.  They are those far-out, weird dressing, sensitive, moody and highly creative children who truly live on a different plane than most of us.  The problem is we don't really understand these kids.  And I don't think that is fair.

                                              

Finley lives in the world of imagination.  One day I had her staying at my house and decided to take her to the city park.  I was sitting on the play equipment watching as she and another 8 year old girl were playing together.  They had not met each other before this rendevous in the park and I listened in on their conversation.  The other girl asked, "What is your name?"  Finley was hanging by one arm on the railing and came down on her two feet, looked the girl in the eyes and quietly said as stone-faced as could be, "Gracie."  My first inclination was to butt in and yell, "Finley, that's not your name....you're not telling this little girl the truth!!"  But I held my tongue as I realized that in this scenario, Finley was imagining that she, indeed, was a little girl in a fairy land named Gracie!!!

It has taken some resource reading and trial and error in my interactions with her.  But I AM trying to understand her world.  We paint together, we play in imaginative worlds together.  Today we made a tent and played under the kitchen table all morning.  And remind you, we were in a tent in Bethlehem....Finley was NOT Finley...she was Mary, mothering her baby Jesus.  Gramma was instructed she was an angel ( a fact my husband refutes!) and Harper was Zacharius.  Right before lunch Fin walked up to me and said, "Gramma, I don't want to be Mary anymore.  I am now Finley." Ok, dear Fin, you have returned to the real world.

MOTHER MARY, ZACHARIUS & GREEN ANGEL

IN TENT IN BETHLEHEM!

DIVORCE & STEP-GRANDCHILDREN: 10 PRINCIPLES FOR GRANDMAS

It is 7:15 pm in the evening.  Darkness envelopes the landscape as the wind howls and hisses.  Welcome thou FIRST BLIZZARD of the winter!!  Do you love snowstorms, blizzards, and cold weather?  For me, the delight is indoors, the fireplace glowing and warming the family room.  And the ultimate:  snuggled in a soft, fleece blanket in a comfy chair reading a good book!!  In addition, all activity within the community comes to a dead halt.  It is as if life whispers, "I need a break!  I want a time-out!"  Time, in a sense, stands still.  I feel deliriously free!  No commitments, no pressure!!!  Ahhhhh......

My last entry concerned that frustrating reality of grandkids way across the world in Timbuktu! That has been a challenge.  However, a greater challenge for all grandparents is the issue of divorce within the family, remarriage and step-grandchildren.  Although our family is dealing with this, I feel that publicly discussing our particular situation would be unwise.  And, quite frankly, everyone's situation is different, we are all unique individuals, and there is not one blanket answer.  Nonetheless, there are lessons learned by traveling the journey.  My journey has crystallized into several principles that may help grandmas in dealing with this culturally prevalent situation.



Prior to the divorce, do not openly express sides taken with either parent in front of the child.  This temptation ensnares us into emotional turmoil, distorting the goal of grandparenting:  being our grandchild's advocate in all of life's ups and downs. 

It is unwise to cast negative light on either parent to the grandchild.  Our kids love both Mommy and Daddy.  Remember, they need both Mom and Dad.  It is unfair to pull them into the "love this one and hate this other one" game.

If a child seems troubled or if he/she brings up the subject, talk to them, keeping their health and well-being foremost.  It is important for them to express these emotions.  Our goal is to LISTEN.  Save the judgment - this damages them.

Be a SAFE HAVEN for your grandchildren going through their parent's divorce.  Bring them to grandma and grandpa's house if possible.  Do not say a word about the bad stuff.  Let them revel in their childhood fantasies!

Give your grandchildren JOY and FUN when you have opportunities of time spent with them.  We build happy memories by deliberately building the safe emotional environment of love and acceptance, no matter what they are going through.  If a grandchild acts out while you have them, be forgiving, understanding the emotional discord these kids cannot identify.  They honestly do not know what to do with all the "junk!"

After there is a second marriage. defer decisions for the grandchild to your son or daughter, not the step-dad/mom.  This does not mean you ignore the new spouse.  But discipline (according to Dr. Phil!!!) should be implemented by the birth parent.

It is extremely important to bond first with the new spouse.  Accept, even with differences! It makes our grandparenting a heck of a lot easier.

Accept a step-grandchild as if she is your own.  Embrace them affectionately (if they so permit).
.
Keep in mind that it will take time to build a relationship with step-grandchildren.  The key is "time spent."  This takes effort, coupled with persistence!    

Do not go on a guilt trip if the step-grandchild does not react as you envisioned.  This is hard for them as well as you.  And be prepared for the step-sisters or step-brothers (your natural grandchildren) to be jealous of the attention you give the step-grandchild.  This may need to be a life lesson for your kids to turn away from selfish hoarding of your affections.

Well, I know this hasn't covered all issues here.  But these are basic starters.from a lady who has been on the journey for 10 years.  I can't claim any child development degrees or any psychological training.  But I have "loved on" a dozen kids and I do think God teaches us by these experiences.  God bless!