SAYING GOOD-BYE TO OUR 13TH GRANDCHILD

I know all of you must have thought I was 1) imprisoned,  2) kidnapped, 3) won the lottery and sailing around the world, or 4) hauled off to the funny farm.  None of these four things have happened to me, but #4 would be the closest possibility.  Fellow grandmas, this has been a sad, hard last couple months for me.  Those circumstances in life that we all have hoped we would never face have yielded their ugly faces before our family.  In the last year year I have suffered a heart attack,  lost my father, walked through horrible valleys with family members, and lost our 13th grandchild.

A couple months ago I received a phone call from my daughter who sounded quite excited.  She and her husband have three beautiful girls (see their pics!) and thought their family was complete.  She said, "Mom, I have taken a pregnancy test and I am expecting our fourth baby!"  My husband and I were thrilled!!!  A baker's dozen!!!  What more could grandparents want?  

A little over four weeks ago, Sarah called and shared that she was spotting.  I told her that sometimes that is normal....no sweat!!!   That was Saturday morning.  The bleeding became worse on Sunday with uncomfortable cramping.  She was scared.  I was concerned.  Monday she went to the doctor.  I drove down to her home to watch the other girls.  She cried in my arms and was alarmed that her baby might be in danger.  (By the way, our family believes that life begins at conception, that this little fluttering baby is a human being with complete DNA!)  I massaged her legs and arms, trying to relax her before the appointment.  Her husband came home and drove her to the doctor's office.  An hour later, in walked Sarah and her husband.  She burst into tears and told me, "Mom, they found the heartbeat!!! We saw her!! My baby is alive!!!"  We rejoiced and cried and hugged in relief. 

That night Sarah rocked Harper to sleep as she was talking to God about her baby.  She had already named her Shiloah, meaning "God's gift."  Although no audible voice, Sarah "heard" God speak to her conversationally.  He told her, "Sarah, this baby is something special......I cannot wait for you to meet her!!!"

Although at first my daughter interpreted this to mean everything would be OK, she now realizes that God was saying that he has Shiloah in His hand awaiting her in heaven.  The next day she called with severe cramping, heavy bleeding.  I raced down to be with her and the girls.  She again walked into the doctor's office, this time being told there was no sign of her baby on the ultra sound.  The day before LIFE, the next day, NOTHING.  Our grieving for this precious one continues as we see newborn babies, as we pass the diaper section in the store, etc.  LOSS.

I appreciate your thoughts and prayers, dear grandmas.  God bless you all!!!