EPILOGUE TO MY BLOGSPOT

Hear ye!  Hear ye!  My fine fellow readers!  All good things must come to an end.  After a year of exposing how crazy and wild I truly am as a grandmother, I have come to a difficult decision:  I must say "good-bye."

In actuality, I have shared with you through this year my philosophy of grandparenting.  I have shared with you some of the crazy ideas that have brought much delight to my grandchildren.  I have shared grandparent struggles as well.  And some of the entries have pointed to the fact I need to be escorted to the psyche ward by the sherriff!!  (Ok, grandmas, NO COMMENT!)

Life marches on, and, quite frankly, our family has some difficult challenges before us now.  In addition, I desire to dabble in the writing of children's books for my dozen grandchildren awaiting Christmas presents!  And characters and the plot of a novel stubbornly refuse to surface and fly away from the right side of my brain.

I have decided to leave the blogspot in cyberspace for any person caring to read my thoughts on being a grandparent.  Please comment with any questions or thoughts.  I would be glad to respond via email.

God bless!

WHEN WERE you YOU?

When were you YOU?

When a time of "self" was true?

I think I know when I was me...

Not until later years did I see!

If you know you are YOU

Your place in the world opens wide,

Opportunities for love abide

Creativity and freedom side by side!

When I discovered I was me

I was nearly fifty-three.

Believe it or not, I was in my Jeep

When I made a discovery that made me complete.

I was trying to squeeze myself in a mold

Of being a small-town girl growing old.

It was OK to love the lure of the city!

Culture, learning, buzzing activity!

 Of course one can imagine anywhere, any time...

But breaking that mold was the bottom line

Of gaining my freedom to be who I am.

So be who you are and I'll be who I am!!



IDENTITY THEFT!! GRANDMAS BEWARE!!

Am I significant because I planned and survived Camp Grandma 2?

Is my worth based on the amount of time I spend with my grandchildren?

Would I be a better person if I bought each of my grandkids more material things?

I think you get the point.  I have to stop my busyness, my planning, my routine to ask myself these kinds of questions.  Especially after the four days I spent with Lauren and Carter.  Wow, it was a great success!!  I know the kids will hold many memories of Camp Grandma!

But is who I am based on the kind of grandma I am?  I get so wrapped up in my kids and grandkids that I DO begin to lose my identity.  I have to remember that I am a significant person just for being who I was created to be.

My identity is not dependent on what my grandkids think of me.  Or how much they want to be with me or how cool they think I am. 

I have to remember that life in my 60's has to have a "look of its own."  If I allow my identity to be stolen by others, I have missed the joy of LIVING MY OWN LIFE!

Just a thought....

NO, SHE IS NOT DEAD.....JUST IN A COMATOSE STATE

GIVE THE POOR GRANDMA A BREAK, FOR CRYIN' OUT LOUD.  THE GIRL JUST HIKED 2 MILES IN A CANYON INFESTED WITH BUTTERFLIES NEWLY HATCHED FROM A BILLION COCOONS!

THE HIKE STARTED THIS AFTERNOON AND GRANDPA BILL ACCOMPANIED THE HIKERS ( A very good thing as this was a treacherous hike on extremely steep canyon walls.)

The area was flooded so we had to park away from the river and walk into the state park.  That in itself was a hike.  However, to enter the canyon area was a tough climb, both up and down.  The drop-offs along the trail frightened me as I held on to the hands of my precious cargo.

Carter and Lauren were up for the challenge.  This pic was taken before all their energy was zapped!!

When we reached the bottom of the canyon, little capillaries of the river were pleasurable wading pools by the canyon walls.  The walls were made from sandstone, and the lichen growing on the rock and trees was central to my campers' study for the weekend.

 On the way to the canyon hundreds of butterflies greeted us!  They looked somewhat like monarchs, but I realize that is impossible this early in the summer.  At any rate, I did not appreciate their invading my space!!!

The campers shared with me that Day #2 was their favorite hiking extravaganza!  We really did have a super time.  Talk about memories!!!

Camp Grandma 2 is now an established success.  Hey, if you don't succeed, try, try again!!!

CAMP GRANDMA DAY 1

GRANDMA'S PREPARATIONS

CAMP REGISTRATION YESTERDAY

SCORES OF STARS AND PLANETS AWAIT THE CAMPERS

THIS TOOK ME ALL AFTERNOON TO HANG THESE FROM

CEILING!  BUT LET ME TELL YOU, WHAT A BRILLIANT

DISPLAY OF THE HEAVENLIES AFTER THE LIGHTS

WERE TURNED OFF!  THE CEILING GLOWED WITH ALL

THESE "SHINE IN THE DARK" STARS AND PLANETS!

CAMPERS ARRIVE!!

GRANDPA BILL TEACH CAMPERS HOW TO SALUTE!

THE ADVENTURE STARTS ON FRIDAY!!

WE ARE INSIDE THE BUTTERFLY GARDEN!  90 + SPECIES OF

BUTTERFLIES ARE FREELY FLYING AROUND US!!  HOW BEAUTIFUL!

LAUREN DESPERATELY WANTS BUTTERFLIES

TO LAND ON HER HAT!

EXPLORING THE BEAUTIFUL GARDENS!  WON'T BE

LONG UNTIL THIS ONE IS POSING FOR "IN STYLE!"

AWWWW.....THE REALITY OF A WORLD OF CONTRASTS!

HARD ROCKS IN A SHOE VERSES THE BEAUTY OF THE GARDENS!

So far, Grandma Camp 2 is already more successful than Grandma Camp 1 was.  We'll see what tomorrow brings.

For now, happy camping!!!

PRAISE THE LORD!! WILD 'N CRAZY GRANDMA HAS A GOOD HEART!

This post has a purpose:  to praise my LORD that HE has intervened and given me a healthy heart!

For the past 2 weeks, the doctors have feared that the wild 'n crazy grandma might be dealing with Congestive Heart  Failure.

This morning I was told that my heart is healthier than it was shortly after my heart attack.

Just wanted to share this with my readers.  More importantly, I wanted to give the praise to my Lord!

God bless. 
(P.S.  My life song on my play list is "Stay'n Alive" by the Bee Gees.....you may want to play it as you read this post:) 

CAMP GRANDMA 2: DETAILED PLANS AND GOALS!!!

Countdown until CAMP GRANDMA 2:  THREE DAYS AND FRENETIC PLANNING ON SCHEDULE!!!

I figured other grandmas might enjoy my sharing the plans for Camp Grandma 2.  This camp will differ from Camp Grandma 1 simply because Lauren and Carter are two plus years older.  Lauren is 9 and Carter is 7, so I've customized our camping plans to suit their ages and personalities.

The camp will run all day Friday and all day Saturday.  Just so you are not assuming this will be a boring, lichen-filled two- day lecture, I will intertwine the typically inane, silly interactions with the now infamous wild 'n crazy grandma!   (Sunday is reserved for the collapse of the wild 'n crazy grandma.)   

Following are the preparations I've made in the last week or so. 

1.  Friday we will be visiting Spring Brook State Park.  Goals
     for the day:  picnic lunch, leisure hiking, and awareness
     of birds, insects, trees.  I've tried to study what animals
     we might see, in addition to the types of trees we will view
     in the park.  Saturday we will leave for the Ledges State
     Park.  This will center on the study of "lichen" of which
     this park is famous.  So I've printed off the maps of the
     parks so I don't waste time trying to locate different areas.

2.  Camp Grandma campers obviously have to don the
     regalia.  The shirts have arrived!!!  In addition, the campers
     MUST be protected from the sun!  The camouflaged hats
     will do that, in addition to the sun screen!!

3.  To make learning more fun, I've purchased cool
      magnifying glasses for each of them.  I thought Carter
      would like the snake, and Lauren would prefer the big girl
      one!  When we hike at the Ledges, they will be able to
      really check out the lichen!!!  The binoculars will
      be useful for bird watching!

4.  The butterfly catchers were "the purchase of the day!"  I
     found them at Ben Franklin's in the dollar aisle!  The wild
     'n crazy grandma always likes a bargain!  I know,
     butterflies aren't out until at least mid-summer.  Hey, there
     are flying bugs right now!  And they can use these as
     walking sticks when not swooshing for insects!

I think I'm fairly well prepared.  Now I just have to save up the energy to keep up with my precious campers.  I also plan on a trip to the library to check out "camp" CDs.  Haley Mills "Parent Trap" video or DVD might need to be checked out as well!  (I prefer that one over Lindsay Lohan's.)

Hey, did you know that Ledges State Park is home to the rare bird, the "pileated woodpecker"?  Maybe Lauren, Carter, and the wild 'n crazy grandma will see one of these Saturday!

God bless ya all till we post again!!!

DOG TRAINING TIPS FROM WILD 'N CRAZY GRANDMA

TIP #1:  PUPPY IS NOT AS SWEET AS YOU BELIEVE

Just look at that face!!  Beware!!!  This sweet face can test your very life!!  From chasing down the halls of the Racine Wisconsin Marriott to picking up little "love gifts" on the floor, your patience, endurance, and character is on the line!


TIP #2:  THE "STAY" COMMAND DOES NOT ALWAYS WORK!

Ladies, these are the knees of the wild 'n crazy grandma.  I simply was going out the front door to retrieve the mail when, ONCE AGAIN, my command to "STAY" was ignored and even scorned by this evil "cute" canine.  I knew she would fall victim to a passing car if I did not take quick, prompt action.

I literally SWAN DIVED into the cement sidewalk in front of our house and grabbed the culprit by her hind legs.  I was lying in the prone position, determined not to allow her to escape! 

Shucks, ladies, I done saved her life!!!  I AM quite a woman!  Talk about sacrifice!!!

In reality, I guess I am more a better woman than I am an accomplished dog trainer!!  (I'll let you know how my back is tomorrow.....at least, I did not break any ankles!!!)

CAMP GRANDMA PART 2!!!

Matt and Carey are heading for Chicago in a couple of weeks.  Could we babysit??  OF COURSE!!

I about dropped dead when Lauren pleaded, "Grandma, can we pppppplease do Camp Grandma again?" 

Now, just to refresh your memory, go back in my blog and read the entry for September 21, 2010:  "My Big Bomb....Camp Grandma!!!!"  Do you understand now that my heart nearly stopped pumping the ole blood with that question?

Go figure!!  Kids are fickle!!!  I should've said, "Hey, Kid, I tried that one in 2008 and you and your bro hated every minute of it! Go out in the forest and climb a tree!!  I ain't having no part of another Camp Grandma!!!"

But did the wild 'n crazy grandma respond like that?  No, no, no, no!!!  I gave my Lauren sweetie a tight hug and whispered in her ear, "Darling, if you and Carter want another Camp Grandma, figure it DELIVERED!!!"

So I have two weeks to pull this off for my kids.  I do not want them disappointed.  I found a website that sells Camp Grandma t-shirts.  Two ordered, both size 8-10, $41.00 poorer.

If any of you grandmas are interested in these t-shirts, check out www://cafepress.com.  They even have a "design your own" section.

I checked out a state park and available cabins.  They are mice infested, but, hey, it IS camping.  But it IS also ME that will be staying with them.  The Wild 'n Crazy Grandma will not sleep a wink if I hear mice pitter-pattering around the cabin all night and finding little black birthday presents all over the clothes in my suitcase.  OK, check that off the list!  But we can still make a day trip out of it.  I'm considering renting canoes if my hubbie will come along!

We also have a park called The Ledges.  Great hiking and cool rock cliffs and little mountain-like stream do-ditties. A wonderful place to walk and talk about life.  Wow, now I am getting excited. 

Whether or not this Camp Grandma Part 2 will have a different ending, only the good Lord knows.  And I'll be sure to let you all in on the ending to this story.

Have a great weekend!!!

  



ARE WE "FIX-IT" GRANDMAS?

do you ever try to fix grandchildren, children, husbands friends????

i come from a long history of being a fixer

i wanted to make my friends happy, so i would tell them what to do to fix their broken lives and they would go away encouraged and happy only to realize down the road they were in the same mess

i had all the answers for everything and for all times

if you would just do this you will be a happy productive person

as a mom i really had all the answers

my kids would grow up to be the perfect christian adults with no hang-ups

i thought if people would just make right decisions everything would automatically be just perfect!

                                       NOT!!!!

                                                                                                                                              

                                                      SCULPTURE:  BROKEN PEOPLE

Grandmas, take off the pressure to fix everything and everyone!  We live in a fallen world.  Our job is not to fix, but to "come along side" our grandkids or children or friends.  Listen, love, and support.  That's what they want.   Life is a journey, a marathon not a sprint!

I would much rather be an encourager and cheerleader than to glue together broken parts of people's messy stuff. 

In the final analysis, each of us is responsible for changing our own behavior, habits and problems. 

Sooooo, grandmas, live today in freedom realizing "I am not here to fix everything or everybody."  I am responsible to God and God alone!!!

Have a good one! 



 

FAMILY AND MEMORIAL DAY 2011

My thanks to all the men and women throughout this country's history who have given their lives for their country and my freedom.  I realize that the sacrifice they have given has been so very painful for their loved ones.  My words of thankfulness, appreciation and gratitude are insufficient at best.  God bless you and the cost to your families.

Memorial Day through the years started primarily with the goal of honoring our service men and women.  At some point, Memorial Day became an opportunity to honor the loved ones we have personally lost whether or not related to the military.

Now Americans have extended this holiday to honor Memorial Day as a time to celebrate family.

Our family is no exception.  Today we celebrated with 3/4 of our kids here and 1/2 of our grandchildren!  (It  is really difficult to have everyone present at one time.)

Answered Prayer



We have had a difficult start to 2011.  But today we are grateful to God for bringing Carter through surgery and back to health!  He is our CARTER BOY who is sooooooooo special and a bright spot in all our hearts.  Welcome Back, Carter:)

And our Sarah girl.  She has had a rough two months, but in the last week has shown significant progress.  Today, I felt like we had our Sarah back.  Praise the Lord!!  Thank you Lord for healing!

CELEBRATION

Jeremy flew from Arizona to spend Memorial Day with us!  The last time he was here was 2008 when his grandpa died.  Soooo....we are celebrating having him here with us!  We love and miss him.  We thank God for this opportunity!

The rest of these pics are at the Pizza Ranch!  This is a cheap, kid-friendly restaurant where everyone can be obnoxious and have a good time (I'm not being literal here....your wild 'n crazy gramma would never want to be thought of as obnoxious!  Maybe a little on the edge and naughty, but never obnoxious!!:)

                                                

FAMILY FUN

The Family at what we do best!

Sweet Reese owns the two fingers  on top of Harper's head!!!

Bill, enjoying the fruits of his labor!!!

Harper enjoying ice cream.  Sister helping harper look mischievious!

Fin and Lauren playing horsie/back!

LAUREN

My only hope for a successor to the wild 'n crazy grandma!!!

Never fear, the craziness lives on and on.

Have a great holiday!!!

DON'T WORRY; THINK ORANGE RAINBOWS

Hey, there's been a lot of bad news lately.  This weather stuff is CRAZY!  All these destructive tornadoes wreaking devastation!  Then there are public figures' lives being split apart by infidelity and sexual addictions!  And what about the financial condition of our country?  What about so many Americans being out of work and out of money?????

The list goes on and on.  If we morbidly obsess about all these downers, we will get depressed which adversely affects ourselves and each other.  A couple years ago someone coined the phrase, "Don't worry; Be Happy!"

My four-year old granddaughter, Finley, inspired this post.  She LOVES rainbows and the color orange.  Whenever she is in the car with me, she is finding paintings in the sky.  She optimistically points out the beauty above and beyond in the blueness of the limitless sky.  Have you ever thought about WHERE the sky ENDS????

Her mommy asked her the other day, "Fin, what makes you happy?" 

Finley's answer:  "When I feel good and don't complicate things!" 

Now Grandmas everywhere, think about what this four-year old said.  At first, I just smiled and thought that what she said was cute.  But as I thought further, I had to admit that there was a lot of truth in her words.  A lot of my fretful thinking and angst results from my "complicating" things!  I guess she inspired me to think  SIMPLY "orange rainbows!"

1.  God has provided me with a home that I love.

2.  I have a wonderful husband and four fantastic children.

3.  I don't need "things."

4.  I can get by on less.

5.  Less money can produce creativity and interpersonal mutual dependency.

6.  Bad times give me opportunities to help others.

7.  The list goes on!..........

I think I'll sign off and clean my house.  It is a SIMPLE thing I need to do!

 

A WOMEN'S COFFEE, NIKITA KHRUSHCHEV, AND FALSE EYELASHES

HAVE YOU EVER PLAYED THIS GAME?  YOU ARE GIVEN THREE WORDS (OR GROUPS OF WORDS).  YOUR TASK:  FIND THE LINK OR COMMONALITY AMONG THE THREE WORD GROUPS. 

CHECK OUT THE TITLE OF THIS POST.  WHAT IS THE LINK AMONG THE THREE WORD GROUPS?  THINK YOU HAVE IT??  WANT MORE TIME??  OK, GIVE ME YOUR ANSWER!

WRONG.  TRY AGAIN!

STILL HAVEN'T GOT IT?  OK, I'LL DIVULGE THE ANSWER ALL OF YOU HAVE BEEN DYING TO DISCOVER.  THE ANSWER IS ME ATTENDING A COFFEE FOR WOMEN A WEEK AGO WHERE A SPECIAL GUEST WAS ADDRESSING THE TOPIC OF NIKITA KHRUSCHCEV  AND HIS VISIT TO A MIDWESTERN FARM IN 1959.  AND FOR THE OCCASION I DECIDED TO GLUE ON FALSE EYELASHES WHICH I HAVEN'T TRIED SINCE HIGH SCHOOL.

YES, THE ABOVE RATIONALIZATION DOES MAKE SENSE.  THERE IS "PERFECTO" COMMONALITY.  ALLOW ME TO EXPLAIN.....

I WANTED TO LOOK PRETTY.  AND THIS PARTICULAR MORNING, I WAS RUSHING TO GET READY FOR THE PARTY.  I LOCKED WELLINGTON OUT OF THE BATHROOM BUT KEPT WRIGLEY IN WITH ME SO I COULD CATCH HER IF SHE DECIDED TO DO "YOU KNOW WHAT."  I FIXED MY HAIR, PUT ON MY MAKE-UP, AND OPENED THE LINEN CLOSET.....VOILA!  THERE THEY WERE --  SITTING ON THE SHELF FOR 6 MONTHS WITHOUT EVER BEING OPENED.

YES, THEY WERE THE FAKE LASHES.  YOU SEE, IN THE LAST YEAR, MY EYES HAVE BEEN DOIN' SOME MAGIC ON ME, LIKE DISAPPEARING BEHIND MY CHEEK BONES AND SINKING IN THE SUNSET OF THE DARK CIRCLES UNDER MY EYES.  DOGGONE-IT!!  I FIGURED I HAD TO SAVE MY EYES FROM SHRIVELING UP FOREVER.  ONE WEAK MOMENT AT SALLY HANSON'S IN 2010 SEALED MY FATE FOR THIS ONE HISTORICALLY MOMENTOUS DAY.

THE INSTRUCTIONS INDICATED TO SQUEEZE A SLIVER OF GLUE ONTO THE BASE OF THE LASHES AND COUNT TO 30 AS YOU WIGGLED THEM INTO A HORSESHOE SHAPE AND BACK, HORSESHOE SHAPE AND BACK.  (BY THE WAY, THAT WAS CONSIDERED MY EXERCISE FOR THE DAY.....REMEMBER I'M DIETING???)  

MIND YOU, AS SOON AS THE 30 SECONDS WERE UP, I GINGERLY FLOATED THE FIRST LASH WITH GLUE UPON MY RIGHT POINTER FINGER AND WALKED CAREFULLY TO THE TOILET (LID BEING IN THE DOWN POSITION.  I SAT DOWN, BROUGHT THAT POINTER BABY UP TO MY FACE.....*(mailto:%5E&@#^&*)(*&^%$%$###@

The Eyelash was Missing!!!

THE LASH WAS GONE!  I FROZE IN MY TRACKS.  I TRIED TO COME TO AN INTELLECTUAL CONCLUSION AS TO THE PATH OF THE EYELASH CONSIDERING WIND VELOCITY AND DRAFTS.  I MOVED NOT.   SCANTILY CLOTHED, I VIEWED MY BARE SHOULDER AND RIGHT ARM.  NO SIGHT OF THE RIGHT EYE COVERING.  MY EYE FOLLOWED DOWN THE SIDE OF MY BODY, LEG, AND TO MY RIGHT FOOT.  AGAIN, NOT A SIGN.

WOULDN'T YOU KNOW, MY HUSBAND AND I HAD PURCHASED MAINLY BLACK TILE FOR OUR BATHROOM?  AT THAT MOMENT, I WAS HORRIBLY REGRETTING THAT DECISION AS I FRANTICALLY HUNTED THE HAIRY VARMINT DOWN.  PERHAPS IT IS STICKING TO THE SIDE OF MY HEAD, I THOUGHT. 

ALL OF A SUDDEN I PROJECTED MYSELF INTO THAT FATEFUL COFFEE TIME WITH PREMIER KHRUSHCHEV'S GHOST  TALKING ABOUT 1959. SITTING AT THE COFFEE TABLE, THE LADY ACROSS FROM ME SOFTLY BUT KINDLY BENDS TOWARDS ME AND WHISPERS, "BARB, YOU HAVE AN ODD HAIRY THING HANGING FROM YOUR NOSE.  I KNEW YOU WOULD WANT TO KNOW AND I WAS SURE YOU WOULD WANT ME TO TELL YOU...."

I QUICKLY CAME BACK TO THE PRESENT, STILL SITTING ON THE WC.  THE BLASTED EYELASH WAS NOT ON MY BODY.  PERHAPS IT WAS STUCK TO WRIGLEY'S FUR!?!?

I RAN AND GRABBED THE MAGNIFYING GLASS AND COMBED THROUGH POOR WRIG'S FUR, AS IF HUNTING DOWN BED BUGS.  NOPE, SHE WAS AS CLEAN AS A WHISTLE.

BECAUSE THE HOUR WAS LATE, I HAD TO RELEASE THE EYELASH TO FATE AND FLY OFF TO THE KHRUSHCHEV COFFEE.  I PRAYED TO THE LORD THAT THE LASH WOULD NOT SHOW UP AT THE COFFEE IN SOME HORRENDOUSLY EMBARRASSING MANNER (LIKE FLOATING IN MY CUP OF COFFEE!).  SO FAR, A WEEK LATER, THE MYSTERY OF THE EPHEMERAL EYELASH STILL LIES IN THE GLOOMY SHADOWS OF THE PAST.

                                         
 

AN INTERROGATIVE TREATISE

What is your favorite flavor of ice cream?  Do you prefer ice cream in a cup or cone?  Do you criticize people who love strawberry ice cream?  Would you rather live on the banks of the Brazilian Amazon or at the South Pole?  Is your preference sitting in front of a warm, cozy fireplace or ice skating on a frozen lake under billions of stars on a cold January night?

Where were you when your first grandchild was born?  Did you want to be a grandma, or did you make up another name like "nonie"?  What stage of grandparenting is your favorite?  Do you interact better with boys or girls?  Is aging an adventure into the "Golden Years" or is it a curse?  Do you really like yourself?  Would you invite yourself to go with you on a trip around the world?

Are you irritated with all these questions?  Is it because you really don't want to delve into yourself?  Do you want to go outside and jump rope?  Would you rather snuggle with a bichon puppy or run wild outside in pasture land where the wind blows free and hard against your body?  Is there an urge to close out this blog and suck on a piece of Dove chocolate while sipping hot Gevalia coffee?  Do you feel like pounding your chest because you feel like an empowered woman?  Are you happy, sad, or relieved that this interrogation is over, at least for now?

(If you liked this, try reading The Interrogative Mood by Padgett Powell)

YOU GOTTA BE A CURMUDGEON IF YOU DON'T SMILE AT THIS!!!

       ENJOY THE LITTLE PLEASURES OF LIFE!!!!

KEEPING PEACE AMONG FAMILY AND FRIENDS

A-hiking I will go, a-hiking I will go, hi-ho-the derry-o, a-hiking I will go  (and as my grandkids add) CHA-CHA-CHA!!!


Once again, I'm in the most beautiful desert in the universe - the Sonoran Desert.  Have I ever told you "I LOVE THE DESERT?????" 

This morning my husband and I were tackling the Overton Trail at Cave Creek.  This is one of our favorite trails and this warm morning we walked silently in formation as the rhythm of life enveloped us in its rapturous tune.  I love to listen when I'm hiking.  I am enchanted with the birds' songs, near and distant, the marching of our boots hitting the rocky terrain, and the rhythmic breathing patterns issuing from my mouth, and the buzzing, albeit irritating, frenzy of the gnats and bees around our heads.

The few words we did speak, however, were responding to the cacophony of conflicts among our own flesh and blood and outside-the-family friendships.  Below is the wild 'n crazy grandma's quickie version on the best way to handle relationship tensions within our families:

1.  When a child comes to either parent with a complaint of any kind about a brother or sister, refuse to listen.
2.  Tell that child to go directly to that sibling and confront the problem between the two of them.
3.  A husband or a wife need not burden their spouse with the details of the conflict.  This only upsets the whole family dynamic needlessly.
4.  If, after the two children attempt to tackle their differences and no resolution is reached, then AT THIS POINT bring in a third party such as a pastor or counselor.  This third person will hopefully be wise enough to know if and when the family should be brought into the situation.

Someone else first came up with the previous idea.  You can read about it in Matthew 18:15-17.

I'm just a little 'ole gramma, but I've been too invested in the quarreling and issues between my kids.  This affects my mood, my time with the grandchildren, and holding grudges against out-laws and in-laws, most of the time unfairly.

Just a thought.....

I'VE BEEN A GRAMMA SINCE 1994 WHEN I WAS 45!!!

I feel pink today; voila! -- the color of my font.  It is Sunday, home from church, sitting on the floor playing with Wrigley, and quite honestly feeling somewhat philosophical about my life as a grandmother.

Those stats in the post title hit me like a left punch to the gut.  1994 seems like a LONG time ago, and 45 feels freakishly young!!!! 

Time goes SO fast.  My oldest grandchild, Ashlan, turns 17 in about a week.  She is in a "serious" relationship.  I am in a "serious" funk right now with my life. 

Last night Grandpa and I went to Reese's 7th birthday party.  Two weeks ago Carter turned 7 as well.  And in July, Lauren turns 9!!!

Ok, so what's the "so what?" 

And here is where the font color turns "blue."  At age 45, I was PRE-menopausal, I was in my right mind, and I had just run a 10K race five years earlier (my one claim to fame!).  My skin was still up around my waist, my jaws did not sag, and I still had kids in high school. 

In 1994 Bill Clinton was president of the United States.....does that sound like a LONNNNNGGGGGGG time ago to you???  It does to me!

Time does not slow down.  Although my body does, time does march on.  In many ways, I feel sad that my grandkids are growing up so fast.  And I am disappointed that physically I am slowing down and feeling less energetic to keep up with small, medium, and large kids!!  I certainly hope I have made the most of the time that I have had with them.  I guess TIME will tell. 

THOUGHT FOR TODAY

LAUGHTER DOETH GOOD LIKE MEDICINE,

BUT A BROKEN SPIRIT DRIES THE BONES.

PROVERBS 17:22

SMILE, LAUGH AT YOURSELF, & ENJOY TODAY!!!

DUCHESS OF WRIGLEYSVILLE ARRESTED FOR DISORDERLY CONDUCT TODAY, MAY 3, 2011

(This event ACTUALLY occured in time and space.

The writer of this blog never needs to go to her own "dream spot."

Inspiration for posts just "happens" to this pathetic victim.)

"On Tuesday, May 3, 2011, the honorable Duchess of Wrigleysville was arrested for disorderly conduct on public property at the Marriott Conference Center in Racine, Wisconsin.  The Duchess has been incarcerated in the Racine City Jail's holding cell. "  Quote from the The Milwaukee Journal Sentinel.



(County Mug Shots courtesy of the Racine Police Department)

Those words, my fellow graveling, gorging, global grammas, have been the nemesis of my soul for this whole week.

Do you have any interest in the account of what happened?  It doesn't matter, because you're getting the scoop whether you want or not.  

Picture the morning:  It is Tuesday and Wrigley and I have been "holed" up (my choice, btw) in the hotel room for three straight days while Mr. Bigshot is conducting meetings in a nearby town.  We are getting ready to check out, move dog food to the car, haul a crate to same vehicle, not to mention all my stuff.  I am dressed "to the nine's" for an important celebratory event at my beloved's institution.  So, of course, I'm late and the maid is becoming an annoyance.

For the third time, she bangs on my door letting me know check-out was 20 minutes earlier.  I walk to the door, still chained, and open a creak to whisper, "I'll be out in just a few!"  As soon as my words leave my mouth I spot movement in my periphery vision of a blenheim spot moving down the hall.  THE DUCHESS OF WRIGLESVILLE HAS ESCAPED!!                                                                                       

Do you realize how many hallways are in the Racine Conference Center????  It is a maze of hundreds of rooms and corresponding hallways.  And I swear the Duchess is not only "lightning" fast, but she has earned a PHD in geometry!!   Her determined defiance enabled her to split off at precise angles in which my 62-year old body was incapable of twisting.  I have provided a diagram of what this looked like for 20 MINUTES!  I am represented by the RED arrow, the Duchess by the BLUE:

I was chasing, and chasing, and chasing.  I became dizzy as I was running and turning corners.  Seriously, I had no idea where I was at certain points in this menagerie.  At one point, armpits "pitted out," I found myself in the hotel LOBBY, for goodness sake.  I was panting, "Please help me catch her!" to blurred humans I passed.  THEY DIDN'T EVEN ACT LIKE THEY CARED!!!  What is this world coming to?  (This dark question is still haunting me and feeding my depression!)

After passing the lobby, the dog (all endearments are temporarily inactive) bolted in a corridor.  My brilliant creativity kicked in.  SHUT HALLWAY DOOR and contain her.  A divine moment, a glimpse of a bygone dog training book showed up in my memory bank.  "When these situations occur, lie down and play dead!!"

I dropped to the ground, spread eagle as if my heart DID truly give out, squinting to see 50 feet ahead of me.  THE DOG took one look, turned 180 degrees and pranced down to check out another pathway.   I realized this was not working, and just as if my life were passing before me, I reached the path of acceptance: "I am gonna lose my canine love interest."

That's it, girls.  I finally lured her into the pop machine room with treats I frantically found in my room.  I grabbed her right there and haven't talked baby talk to her since.

I wish this was a made-up part of the story.  But I have ACTUALLY been in tears over this experience......FOR REAL!!!! 

My final psychiatric evaluation is this week.

                              

WILD 'N CRAZY GRANDMA ATTENDS ROYAL WEDDING IN WEE MORNING HOURS

All week long I have been giddy with excitement about Will and Kate's wedding.  The only problem is that I had to celebrate with me, myself and I.  I invited my whole friendship list and nobody wanted to come over at 4:45 am!  Go figure! 

Please take a moment of silence and allow us to honor the British royalty, Prince William and Catherine Middleton!!!  All I gotta say is that William so outshines

his father in the "looks" department, and Kate is one gorgeous, poised beauty!  I venture to say she will become a fashion icon like Diana.

But back to my party.  I awoke with energetic, anticipatory expectation!!!  My alarm went off at 4:45 a.m., and after a few dozes of three minutes each, I arose!

I bounced into the kitchen for a cup of the best coffee on the globe:  Gevalia's Dark Roast.  I waved the Mother Queen's flag and drank out of London's coffee cup!  To honor Kate and William, of course!!!

I know this is really pathetic, but I so wanted to be a princess, too!  Maybe this is going a little far (like certifiable!), but what the heck!!  Here is my orange juice toast to princesses everywhere, but mostly to Princess Catherine and her Prince, William!!!!

To the newly married royals!!!  We wish you God's best as Prince and Princess of England!!!  Hear, hear!!!