OK, gorgeous grandmas and all grandmas-to-be! Today we are all taking a class in Grandma Philosophy 101. Yes, yes, I understand that you've had kids and miraculously survived (definition: to remain alive or in existence)!! But being a grandma is a horse of a different color, like fuchsia, bright lime green, orange polka dots on deep turquoise!!! It is a wild and sometimes crazy adventure into another stage of life, a world of precious innocent personalities, fairy tales, cuddly toys, warm babies, dirty diapers, teenage obsessions! And when anyone plans an adventure, they most always use a map and decide what route they will be taking. Grandma Philosophy 101 is our groundwork, our map, if you will. And before we start discussing grandma's "to do" list, let's look at ourselves and who we are.
If I were to ask you, "What colors describe who you are, your personality?" what would you say? I imagine every color under the sun would be mentioned: blue, red, orange, purple, green, yellow, and all other mixtures of the color wheel!! Right now I'm sitting in a room decorated in bright purple, orange, and aqua...a room about which I will share with you another day. Those colors would be descriptive of who I am. But does that make me any better or worse than another personality of a different color? The answer is obvious. NO! We are all different, thank goodness! My point is that as grandmas, our diversity, makes each of us unique, not only to God but to our precious grandchildren! Let's glory in our uniqueness!! If we don't love ourselves, how can we give love to our cherubs?
There are four other key words for GP101-- Creativity, Fun, Model, and Relationship.
Each one of us is creative. (Ok, young lady there in the back row, I hear some dissenting comments!) Let me ask you a question. Did God create you? Were you made in the image of God? (Hopefully, the answers were "Yes!") If that be so, you are able to create!! Maybe you sew, or plant beautiful flower or vegetable gardens. Some of you are involved in the visual arts or are musicians. Others decorate their homes beautifully or have a love of cooking or baking. Others of you are social...that takes a lot of creativity to keep up relationships! What about event planning or quilt making or canning? Scrapbooking is huge! The world is stuffed with and oozes out with creativity -- just look around you!!
So what's the point? You, in your being, are creative! Our grandkids crave this from us! A child will thrive if he is offered creativity. Ever notice how a fussy boy at a restaurant with mommy and daddy will settle down after the waitress brings him crayons? We must see ourselves as creative grandmas! We'll be expanding on this in the weeks ahead. Remember, it is not so much what we do, but who we are.
Secondly, this crazy world of grandparenting is fun! I can honestly say that the most fun I have as an adult is when I play and interact with my dozen!! (Now, I might add....it can be physically challenging!!!) At our age, we might be embarrassed to let our hair down, if ya know what I mean. But the kids love it!!! When our kids come over, I emotionally give myself permission to do nothing but give full attention to them. Now there is a price to be paid -- exhaustion and future expectations -- but the rewards outweigh the negatives. Do you enjoy your time with your kids? Do you give yourself permission? I know that can be so hard to do when dirty dishes are in the sink or clothes need to be ironed. But they grow up so fast! I cannot believe Ashlan is already 16! YIKES!!
Grandparenting is different from parenting. Parents are the ones who train their children about right and wrong, God, finances, etc. Grandmas model life. I gave up the lecturing!! I realized that was not my role. This was brought home to me this summer when we flew Ashlan up to our home before she started school. She has a boyfriend now, but I consciously tried not to question her to the point of irritation (hard for me!). We were chatting at our kitchen table, when out of the blue she interjected: "I told Gage that when I get married, I'm going to get up early every morning like my gramma and make my husband coffee and sit down with him and have breakfast before he goes to work." Whoa! It was at that moment I realized that she wasn't spitting back oratories of wisdom I had given her in the past, but it was the modeling she had seen in my life. How humbling!
Finally (sorry I've run on and on today!) remember it really is about relationship! Let's forget about those unimportant duties, platitudes, details and concentrate on these little people with tender hearts! These precious, albeit hugely different, personalities that observe us, love us, and depend on us!!! What an opportunity we have as grandmas! Let us lay the groundwork for developing these relationships starting today. George Eliot gives us words of encouragement: "It is never too late to be what you might have been."
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