VENTRILOQUISM
A few years back I found that my mouth was always getting me into trouble. I would say things I didn't mean and I would mean things I didn't say, and often I would stop in the middle of a sentence forgetting which street my next turn was! I freaked out....."I'm losing my cognitive brain-tongue motor skills!!!" I told all my family. They just shook their heads in mock bereavement! I even went to the chiropracter for a session, explaining to him my brain was out of adjustment!
But one night as I was tossing and turning, a light bulb twinkled brightly in the dark of the midnight hour.......my mouth could be controlled by keeping it shut!!! And I would still be able to communicate if I became a ventriloquist!!! This enlightenment would not leave me. I began thinking back to the days of Edgar Bergen and his Charlie McCarthy. Yes, that was the answer!!! And an added benefit would be that my grandkids would love if there was a new addition to our family.......SUZEE!!!!
For a while, Suzee traveled in my suitcase whenever I'd travel to see the out-of-state grandchildren. They would love her. I devoured Edgar Bergen's book, Ventriloquism. I daily practiced in front of the mirror, carefully crafting my words without moving my lips. I was close to a pro....the key word being "close." It was really hard saying "b's" and "m's" and "p's" and "w's." but, let me tell ya, I now know the secret of how to do it! You'll just have to run to Borders and buy the book!!! They may have heard of it.....I just couldn't understand why the Borders' salesman just gave me this blank stare when I, not moving my lips, asked him where the ventriloquism books were!!!
Since I've become a ventriloquist, I have fewer wrinkles around my mouth....I've cut off at least 5 years!!!!
SWAHILI
Swalhili has saved my life.....and it can save your life, too!! In fact, learning any new language will trigger those electrical paths in your brain to healthier neuron firing than you have ever before experienced!!! I have been trying to learn French since I was in high school....let's see, that's only been 15 years ago....but I really haven't conquered the language. Swahili, however, seems to be coming a little easier. You see, it is an African language and my church has allowed me to teach ESL to some of the ladies from the Congo and surrounding countries. I am gobbling it up!! I love this, I love this, I love this!!! My brain is working!!! I'm feeling younger!!!! My smile is brighter!!!
Jino lako ni nani? Jina langu ni Grandma Barb. Hababi za leo? I know, you all are impressed!!!
PILATES
Our third step to stave off this dirty, nasty, depressing, skin falling around our ankles aging process is in keeping with the above two's philosophy of keeping our minds and bodies under control. Good 'ole Joseph Pilates, a German, devised this exercise plan and I was determined I would conquer and divide!!!! Joe told me from the grave the "contrology" was the complete co-ordination of body, mind, and spirit. I was assured that by acquiring control over my body through his exercises would provide suppleness (what the hey is that?????), muscular power with corresponding endurance, good posture and alleviation of body strain. To be honest with you, it sounded a little too good to be true. But a determined senior citizen I am!!! I would be my readers' role model for exercise and good health!!!! May I leave you with proof positive of how Pilates will change your life!!!!!
BEFORE (don't get your neck out of place trying to twist to view gorgeous gramma!)
AFTER (condolences appreciated..pls comment below!!!)
FYI: Poor gramma is reading booklet "How to UNDO Pilates"
No comments:
Post a Comment