MY 2011 WISH FOR YOU

              LET'S GO GET 'EM IN 2011!!!!!

THE LAND OF NARNIA?

                                         GOD'S GLORY IS ON TOUR IN THE SKIES,
                                         GOD-CRAFT ON EXHIBIT ACROSS THE HORIZON! 
                                                              PS. 119:1 THE MESSAGE 
                                                         
This morning my husband and I woke up, debating whether or not we had walked through the wardrobe door into the land of Narnia!  Frost and snow covered every tree limb as if a fairy had sprinkled her wand, fairy dust transforming the landscape into a mystical play land.   As I stepped out the door into the frigid dawn hours, it was the absence of sound that impressed me.  Stillness.....

This quietness, this beauty reminded me of something Paul Young wrote in his first novel, The Shack:  "Snow or freezing rain suddenly releases you from expectations, performance demands, and the tyranny of appointments and schedules.......All those affected this way are united by a mutual excuse, and the heart is suddenly and unexpectedly a little giddy.  There will be no apologies needed for not showing up to some commitment or other.  Everyone understands and shares in this singular justification, and the sudden alleviation of the pressure to produce makes the heart merry." (pg. 15)

MY FAVORITE CHRISTMAS GIFT and THE BEST PRESENTS FOR MY DOZEN

This last weekend after Fin's dance recital (ohhhhh, the drama....it was tooooo cute!!!), Lauren and Carter wanted to come up to Grandma and Grandpa's house.  We baked cookies, Grandpa and Carter played football, and then we ate our homemade soup - YUMMY!  Soon it was time to take them back to Matt and Carey's.  I had cleaning up to do, so Bill transported them back home.  As I was by the backdoor, which is in our laundry room, I noticed something on my blackboard.  You know, the "thing" that saves my life.  I put my grocery lists, my medicine refills, my "do not forget" lists....you get the idea.  Anyway, little did I realize my favorite Christmas gift was awaiting me:

                            LAUREN'S BEST GIFT TO ME!



    THE BEST PRESENTS FOR MY DOZEN GRANDKIDS

• Yesterday's blog brought up JOY, PEACE, and LOVE.  How does one transmit these qualities?  One thing I've learned, it is not by lecturing.  It is more by osmosis.  Providing a joyful environment when they come to grandparents' homes is a starter.  Am I joyful in my spirit?  Can I put my worries and fears in the hands of God so I have a free spirit?  Do I speak in a voice that is peaceful -- not yelling, using cutting sarcasm, or fighting with my husband?  Do I talk negatively about other people in front of my grandchildren?  Those kinds of considerations are important in transmitting joy, peace and love.
• Do I help them to see the world from above, not below?  By this, I mean do we help them see our circumstances from God's perspective?  Do we discuss the good and bad parts of the world to our kids in a way that they understand the reality of our world without sensationalizing, causing fear and insecurity?
• I want to pass down a vibrant faith in my grandchildren.  But in doing so, there are also challenges.  We live in a diverse culture.  Living the Christian faith, as the Bible clearly reveals, is a life that can include suffering.  I desire that they remain strong.

• What we give our grandchildren is not taught in a sit-down, one-time lesson.  It is continuous, day by day.  That is hard work.  We need consistency.  I remember when I was raising my brood, that was, indeed the most difiicult task.  Consistency gives a bedrock of security to our kids like a solid rock on which to rest!  An art piece in our home truly says it all:

This interesting guy is throwing out seeds to the ground, and you can see the flowers that are growing around his feet.  The sack he is holding in his right arm has a very important message:

Grandmas, we have a very important task ahead of us in 2011.  We need to nurture our kids one day at a time!  God bless!

(P.S.  This piece by artist Betsy Peterson was entered into an art exhibit at Iowa State University in Ames, Iowa.  The exhibit highlighted children's resiliency.)




                      

HEY GRANDMAS OUT THERE: ARE YOU MODELING PEACE OR STRESS THIS CHRISTMAS SEASON? ? ?

THREE DAYS LEFT UNTIL CHRISTMAS DAY!!!  OK, things are a little hectic out there.  In fact, it is getting down-right crazy!  I want you to close your eyes, take a deep breath, slowly breathe it out, beathe in again, let it out.  Now go to your "happy place" and read this whole post with (1) a glass of hot tea, or (2) a cup of cafe latte, or (3) two valium tablets with water, or (4) a jug of Templeton Rye!  All right, all right, I'm only kidding about #3 and #4  Just try to have a sense of humor!  It is time for us wild grandmas to exhibit not-so-crazy behavior for our little ones this frenetic season.  I realized a few days ago that the American culture is in deep "do-do" during the holidays.  My hubby and I had some shopping to do at the largest mall in our area.  As we were squinting our eyes trying to find a parking place closer than 2 football fields away, I saw a sight I had never before seen at a parking mall:

CRAZY MAN PARKS PICK-UP TRUCK AT 135 DEGREE ANGLE ON "AISLE BOULEVARD" AND TIPPING DANGEROUSLY CLOSE TO BUSY STREET!!!

This guy has to be stressed to the MAX!  He must have had a nasty quarrel with his boss, his wife burnt his dinner, and he has all his Christmas shopping to do and no idea what to buy!  What could be worse for the male gender???

When you find yourself at the mall, sit down in one of the FEW chairs available and just study people's faces as they pass you by.  How many of them look happy?  How many of them look downright disgusted?  Or how many of them are tired, stressed out?  I find that most are the latter.  So many of us become so entangled in the materialistic aspects of the holiday that we can hardly wait until January 1 hits.  I confess I feel that way many times.  I become so wrapped up with what each one of my twelve grandkids have to have for a gift that it becomes drudgery.

Let's go back to our "happy place."  Let's think about what Christmas represents.  These images come to my mind!!!

                                JOY

Joy is being with loved ones -- those in our hearts as well as those we can touch, talk to, and share in each others' lives.  Sitting around a beautifully decorated table with those we love is ultimate joy.  One tradition our family enjoys having with these special dinners is a "question of the night."  My husband will announce the question before the meal begins to give everyone time to think about what to say.  Questions like, "What is your favorite Christmas memory?" or "If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?"  Our children and grandchildren love the discussions these questions bring.


Another image that comes to mind which is in direct opposition to stress:

                                         NATIVITY BY ARTIST BETSY PETERSON

                          PEACE

The angels represent "peace."  They announced the baby Jesus with pronouncements of peace!  Isn't that what we all desire?  Peace among the nations?  I hate war!  Innocent children being hurt or even killed.  We desire peace within our families.  As moms and grandmas, we hate it when our kids fight and hurt one another with words or physical attacks.  We want peace with God, peace in human relationships.  I believe that someday we will see peace!!

And the ultimate Christmas image is........

                                                       NATIVITY BY ARTIST BETSY PETERSON

                           LOVE

Love is the greatest gift of all!  The nativity embodies the ultimate gift....LOVE!  Think of God, think of his love for you.  Isn't it remarkable?  Love is why we put up with all our grandkids' antics!!!  We love unconditionally, just like God loves us.  Whoa....what a gift.  I want to think on these things:  joy, peace and love.  It's hard, but I am going to refuse to stress and focus on those things money cannot buy.


MERRY CHRISTMAS AND GOD BLESS!!!!

 

                                   

SUPER SOUP SUPPER FOR CHRISTMAS EVE!!

NINE MORE DAYS UNTIL CHRISTMAS!  Guess what the wild and crazy gramma has been doing every day this week!??  I have been stirring up my brew!  We have a tradition that I just love.  Every Christmas Eve we have four soups to choose from, and every year they're the same four!  That's because Matt likes chili and Sarah likes chicken noodle, and Grandpa Bill loves my vegetable beef.  Soooooo...I thought I'd share a recipe with my readers this morning.  KILLER GARLIC VEGETABLE BEEF SOUP!

GARLIC VEGETABLE BEEF SOUP

I BUY A MARBLED CHUCK ROAST WITH THE BONE IN. SALT AND PEPPER ROAST AND SEAR ON ALL SIDES ADDING CLOVES OF FRESH GARLIC AS YOU BROWN IT.  PLACE IN ROASTING PAN WITH 1/2 CUP WATER.  CUT YELLOW ONION AND PLACE DESIRED AMOUNT OF ONION ON TOP OF ROAST.  ADD AGAIN FRESH GARLIC.  COVER AND COOK SLOWLY AT 325 DEGREES UNTIL TENDER.

WHILE ROAST IS COOKING, CUT UP VEGETABLES. (I PREFER TO CUT UP IN SMALLER SIZES LIKE 1/2 INCH CUBES OF POTATOES.)   I USE 2-3 LARGE POTATOES, 3 OR 4 CARROTS, CANNED GREEN BEANS, DRAINED OR SNAP SWEET PEAS, 1 LRG ONION, AND I THROW IN SOME FROZEN MIXED VEGETABLES.  YOU CAN ADD VEGETABLES AT YOUR LIKING. 

AFTER THEY ARE CUT UP, BROWN ALL VEGGIES IN OLIVE OIL AND FRESH GARLIC UNTIL SEMI-TENDER. 

AFTER ROAST IS COOKED, ALLOW TO COOL.  SHRED INTO BITE-SIZE PIECES.  KEEP SHREDDED MEAT IN ROASTING PAN IF SUITABLE FOR ADDING STOCK AND VEGETABLES.  IF NOT, TRANSFER ALL THE DRIPPINGS INTO SOUP POT.  ADD EMERIL'S OR RACHEL RAY'S BEEF STOCK (NOT BROTH).  I USE TWO OF THE LARGE STOCK SIZE CARTONS.  ADD THE VEGETABLES AND SIMMER UNTIL VEGETABLES ARE TENDER.  KEEP TESTING BROTH FOR SEASONING PREFERENCES. 

I hope your family enjoys this as much as ours!  Even the kids will eat this!!!!

WHAT TO DO WITH THAT CREATIVE ENIGMATIC CHILD????

MEET FINLEY

                                 


                                           

                      MEET FINCENT VAN GOGH

When you have twelve grandchildren, you're bound to have one of these!!  Finley is the girl in the backseat of my Jeep pointing out a rainbow, exclaiming, "Gramma, look at the orange rainbow!!!  Isn't it pretty?"  Or "Gramma, why are those clouds down in the sky like that?"  She sees the beauty of falling autumn leaves.  I'll forever hold in my heart the image of her standing at our family room sliding door looking out as the wind gently rained down orange, red, and yellow leaves off our maple and elm trees!!  She was genuinely mesmerized by the beauty of it all....simple joys of nature, of life!!!  And she is three years old! 

On the other end of the spectrum, however, I painfully remember the day I am babysitting at my daughter's home. It is time for lunch, and Fin is in one her moods where she doesn't very much like her wild and crazy gramma.  She tells her gramma that she doesn't want her lunch.  I say, "Finley, Gramma made you chicken nuggets, carrots and milk for lunch, and it is time for you to eat."  I pick her up like a football and carry her over to the table as she screams bloody murder, sit her down as she flings her plate (holding all the food!) through the air like a frisbee, pelting the kitchen cupboards and floors with carrots, milk, and nuggets of chicken!!!  Then Finley is mad, hurt, and unwilling to repent, feeling Gramma has wounded her psyche for life! 


Such is the study of contrasts typical of the CREATIVE enigmatic child.  These kids are different from the typical first-born who tend to be perfectionistic, many times bossy, self-righteous leader-types.  And these kids from a different planet don't fit into the category of social butterflies either.  They are those far-out, weird dressing, sensitive, moody and highly creative children who truly live on a different plane than most of us.  The problem is we don't really understand these kids.  And I don't think that is fair.

                                              

Finley lives in the world of imagination.  One day I had her staying at my house and decided to take her to the city park.  I was sitting on the play equipment watching as she and another 8 year old girl were playing together.  They had not met each other before this rendevous in the park and I listened in on their conversation.  The other girl asked, "What is your name?"  Finley was hanging by one arm on the railing and came down on her two feet, looked the girl in the eyes and quietly said as stone-faced as could be, "Gracie."  My first inclination was to butt in and yell, "Finley, that's not your name....you're not telling this little girl the truth!!"  But I held my tongue as I realized that in this scenario, Finley was imagining that she, indeed, was a little girl in a fairy land named Gracie!!!

It has taken some resource reading and trial and error in my interactions with her.  But I AM trying to understand her world.  We paint together, we play in imaginative worlds together.  Today we made a tent and played under the kitchen table all morning.  And remind you, we were in a tent in Bethlehem....Finley was NOT Finley...she was Mary, mothering her baby Jesus.  Gramma was instructed she was an angel ( a fact my husband refutes!) and Harper was Zacharius.  Right before lunch Fin walked up to me and said, "Gramma, I don't want to be Mary anymore.  I am now Finley." Ok, dear Fin, you have returned to the real world.

MOTHER MARY, ZACHARIUS & GREEN ANGEL

IN TENT IN BETHLEHEM!

DIVORCE & STEP-GRANDCHILDREN: 10 PRINCIPLES FOR GRANDMAS

It is 7:15 pm in the evening.  Darkness envelopes the landscape as the wind howls and hisses.  Welcome thou FIRST BLIZZARD of the winter!!  Do you love snowstorms, blizzards, and cold weather?  For me, the delight is indoors, the fireplace glowing and warming the family room.  And the ultimate:  snuggled in a soft, fleece blanket in a comfy chair reading a good book!!  In addition, all activity within the community comes to a dead halt.  It is as if life whispers, "I need a break!  I want a time-out!"  Time, in a sense, stands still.  I feel deliriously free!  No commitments, no pressure!!!  Ahhhhh......

My last entry concerned that frustrating reality of grandkids way across the world in Timbuktu! That has been a challenge.  However, a greater challenge for all grandparents is the issue of divorce within the family, remarriage and step-grandchildren.  Although our family is dealing with this, I feel that publicly discussing our particular situation would be unwise.  And, quite frankly, everyone's situation is different, we are all unique individuals, and there is not one blanket answer.  Nonetheless, there are lessons learned by traveling the journey.  My journey has crystallized into several principles that may help grandmas in dealing with this culturally prevalent situation.



Prior to the divorce, do not openly express sides taken with either parent in front of the child.  This temptation ensnares us into emotional turmoil, distorting the goal of grandparenting:  being our grandchild's advocate in all of life's ups and downs. 

It is unwise to cast negative light on either parent to the grandchild.  Our kids love both Mommy and Daddy.  Remember, they need both Mom and Dad.  It is unfair to pull them into the "love this one and hate this other one" game.

If a child seems troubled or if he/she brings up the subject, talk to them, keeping their health and well-being foremost.  It is important for them to express these emotions.  Our goal is to LISTEN.  Save the judgment - this damages them.

Be a SAFE HAVEN for your grandchildren going through their parent's divorce.  Bring them to grandma and grandpa's house if possible.  Do not say a word about the bad stuff.  Let them revel in their childhood fantasies!

Give your grandchildren JOY and FUN when you have opportunities of time spent with them.  We build happy memories by deliberately building the safe emotional environment of love and acceptance, no matter what they are going through.  If a grandchild acts out while you have them, be forgiving, understanding the emotional discord these kids cannot identify.  They honestly do not know what to do with all the "junk!"

After there is a second marriage. defer decisions for the grandchild to your son or daughter, not the step-dad/mom.  This does not mean you ignore the new spouse.  But discipline (according to Dr. Phil!!!) should be implemented by the birth parent.

It is extremely important to bond first with the new spouse.  Accept, even with differences! It makes our grandparenting a heck of a lot easier.

Accept a step-grandchild as if she is your own.  Embrace them affectionately (if they so permit).
.
Keep in mind that it will take time to build a relationship with step-grandchildren.  The key is "time spent."  This takes effort, coupled with persistence!    

Do not go on a guilt trip if the step-grandchild does not react as you envisioned.  This is hard for them as well as you.  And be prepared for the step-sisters or step-brothers (your natural grandchildren) to be jealous of the attention you give the step-grandchild.  This may need to be a life lesson for your kids to turn away from selfish hoarding of your affections.

Well, I know this hasn't covered all issues here.  But these are basic starters.from a lady who has been on the journey for 10 years.  I can't claim any child development degrees or any psychological training.  But I have "loved on" a dozen kids and I do think God teaches us by these experiences.  God bless!
 
   
 

GRANDPARENTING FROM A DISTANCE

Jeremy and Kristalee with JJ

Only two of our four children's families live close to us.  The other two families, Jeremy's and James', live thousands of miles away.....airplane distance away.  So we only see those grandkids occasionally.

With both families, we are able to Skype over the internet.  That helps us feel like we are together, albeit over the cyber highway.  Also, talking on the phone helps, although that is sometimes hard with the littler ones.  Also, sending mail to the far-away grandkids is something that children love.  The best thing, though, is popping off an airplane and running into the arms of screaming children, saying, "Grandpa, Grandma, Grandpa, Grandma!!!"

Truth be known, the real key to long distance grandparenting is the grandkids' mom.  And I am so thankful that Meg and Kristalee talk up Grandma and Grandpa, keeping the children up-to-date on what Bill and I are doing.


                                                     THE PENNSYLVANIA KIDS

James and Meg live in Reading, PA.  Meet Caroline.  She is their oldest, age 8.  She is in 2nd grade and is Miss Intelligence!!!  She is in the honors program at school.  One thing that is so unusual about this girl is that she started playing school at a very early age.  When we visit her, even to this day, Grandpa and I have to sit down while she teaches us.  Grandpa is one of her naughtiest students.  He is always getting into trouble!!!!

I love our adult discussions.  She loves to read....just like me!!!  I've told Jay and Meg that they better buy their shotgun.  Caroline will be one beautiful woman!!!!  All them boys coming around:  BEWARE OF THE PARENTS!!!!

Meet Noelle!  Noelle is Miss Personality.  She is cute, adorable, and my namesake.  They gave Noelle that same middle name as Grandma's......Lynn!  At her birth, I purchased one of those baby rings that can be engraved.  Hopefully, it will always be special to her!!!

Miss Noelle has the cutest smile and giggle.  She lisps somewhat which makes her all the more yummy.  Her face is full of expression all the time.  She is a "piece of work!"

And finally, Will.  He just turned 3.  He is the cute little guy with the glasses.  He is in constant motion, but is soooooo sweet and adorable.  He is joy, joy, joy.  He is named in honor of my husband and his father.  William (my husband's name) and Robert (Billl's dad's name).  And he goes by Will.  The whole family came out for the Iowa State Fair in August for a full week.  I was able to spend much time with my Will.  It was so depressing to see him leave.  The other day, James told me a cute story.  The family was getting ready to go eat Chinese,  It was time to leave so Jay yelled to him to come get his coat on.  "I can't go.  I have too much homework!" 




                                                THE ARIZONA FOUR AMIGOS

Meet our two in AZ  - Asher and JJ - and now our two oldest girls in TX.  All four of them are delights!!!  We have flown all three girls up to Iowa to spend a few days with Grandma and Grandpa.  These have been such great memories!!!  Asher, daughter of Kristalee, came to join our family in 2004.  She came up to Iowa once with Reilly and then one time by herself.  What a fine young lady.  She loves to read, and is totally in love with PINK.  We enjoyed her grateful spirit and fun, giving personality so much.  She endeared herself to us when she gave us a biography of Jackson Polluck, the famous American abstract expressionist.  Grandpa and I were soooo impressed!

When Ashlan comes up, her priority is seeing the rest of the family.  Family tradition is very important to her.  She and her sisters are idolized by all the littler cousins.  It is like they are famous people when both of them come to visit!!

When Ashlan was here just last summer (2010), Carter was so cute.  He'd always have to sit by her and give her hugs!!!

Reilly was up last summer as well.  We wanted to see them before they moved to Texas with their mom.  Reilly was so excited when Grandpa asked her if she wanted to go out to the Country Club and drive the golf cart.  That girl.....she had us driving around the course for 2 hours in 90 degree heat and high humidity!!!!  We couldn't get her to stop!!!!!

TO ALL 12 OF MY GRANDCHILDREN, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH WHETHER YOU LIVE CLOSE OR FAR-AWAY!!

I TREASURE EACH ONE OF YOU !!!  I THANK THE LORD FOR BLESSING ME SO!!!!

OUT OF GRANDMA'S MEMORY TREASURE CHEST!

When our family has get-togethers, we most always sit around the table and reminisce about past stories, nearly all of them humorous!!  I thought you might enjoy hearing some of these stories, involving "yours truly" and our four kids:  Jeremy, Matt, James, and Sarah.  Today, I thought I'd share two of these funny incidents.

"WHAT DO YOUUUU WANT??"

This incident occurred when our Matthew was in kindergarten.  In those days, our kids went half-days only.  Because I liked the kids to rest/nap in the afternoons, I always requested mornings.  So, this typical morning found me completing my normal chores when  I noticed the clock on the oven showed that it was 11:30. AM.  Matt walked home from school, and he always arrived at our front door at 11:45.  Whoa, it was time to get that little guy's lunch ready!  I decided to mix some tuna salad.  I grabbed the mayo from the fridge, opened a can of tuna, retrieved the bread and went to work.  Now, when I mix tuna salad, I always seem to stick my fingers in the mixture to "test" it to see if I have too much, too little mayonaise, pickles, etc.  And, yes, there may be an occasional lick here and there.  And that day I do remember that the can of tuna had a rather pungent odor.  About the time all of my  fingers had remnants of tuna salad and wreaking with "fish" smell, I heard his knock on the front door.  

For some reason, I just felt ornery.  I thought to myself, "I'm gonna have fun with my little guy!"  So I quietly ran to the front door (so he wouldn't hear me coming), crouched down to his eye level, grabbed the door knob with my fishy right fist , holding up my left hand like a monster.  Stealthily, I ominously cracked open the storm door about three inches, and in a raspy, monster voice, gurgled, "What do YOUUUUUUUUU want?"  Anticipating those ice blue eyes and  toothy grin on that cute freckled face, I was stopped short by the portly knee and blue skirt of a heavy-set woman in a business suit.  I slowly stood up to face Evelyn Winters, candidate for the U.S. Senate seat!!!!  I quickly blurted out, "Oh, I'm so sorry....I thought you were my little boy!"  She appeared to find NO humor in what just happened.  She pushed her candidate brochure in my hands, made an about-face, and practically ran to the next house.

Remember MOMS:  Things are not always as they appear!!!! 

THE WILD GRAMMA'S FUNNIEST NURSERY STORY

I was scheduled to work my first ever nursery shift.  When I arrived, I was told I would be workiing with the 3 and 4 year olds.  I walked into this adorable play fantasy land with gym equipment for kids, riding toys, building blocks of all differing sizes, tinker toys, Lincoln Logs, you name it!!!  By the time the church service started, there were two women and myself as the only adults in the room.  We had several boys and one little girl.  We began playing with the children, trying to get to know them and basically keeping them happy.  About 5 minutes later in pops a new couple visiting the church, dropping off their 3-yr old little boy, James.  The wife sweetly smiled and informed us that James would need to be taken "potty" in about 30 minutes.  Because I was the "newbie" on the block, I guess I have to admit that I really did desire to give the other church adults a favorable impression of my childcare expertise.  After all, I was a mother of four!!!


My eyes were glued on the wall school clock.  I wanted to be able to remember to take James on his potty mission without having to be told or asked.  After 30 minutes passed, I delivered my intentions to one of the women, and she, relieved I had offered, said, "Go for it girl!"  I grabbed James's hand and out we marched into the hall to the nursery's special bathroom for kids.  Now I beg you to keep in mind this one fact - the bathroom was a 5 ft.X 8 ft. room with one sink and one porcelain throne.  The toilet was a kids' toilet -- low to the ground, and just doggone cute.  The room was decorated with a kid's wallpaper border, really setting an atmosphere for serious potty training activities.  I began to help him unzip his trousers but he began resisting me.  I thought, "Ok, he is modest and wants to be left alone to do his duties."  So I asked him if he wanted to be by himself and he shook his head so I slipped into the hall as the door shut behind me and LOCKED.  Then I thought, "Oh, this is great!!!  I have a 3 yr. old in here and I am incapable of reaching him!!!"  I placed my ear against the door to listen for any sound of zippers sliding or pee-pee dribbling into water......NOTHING!  By this time, he unlocked the door and I quickly turned the knob before he had a chance to change his mind.  There he was:  in the exact position in which I left him.  I naively inquired:  "Did you go potty?"  He shook his head "yes."  I assured him he had not gone potty and proceeded to unzip his trousers, trying to pull them down.  Again, he resisted.   Assuming he understood my plan for him, I asked him again, "Can you do this by yourself?"  Ok, not too smart, I know, but I did not want to make this Custard's Last Stand.  So, here I was again, ear plastered to door, listening for any give-away audible indications he had done his job.  Finally, after deaf silence, I creeked open the door.  At last we had made progress!!!  He had his trousers down to the floor around his ankles!!!  Underpants, however, were still up around his waist, so I was thinking he had probably not gone potty YET.  I asked, this time STUPIDLY, "Did you go potty????????"  This time, however, much to my dismay, he shook his head, "YES!"  I squinted my eyes in disbelief and quietly, gently implored, "Did you go pee-pee in your pants???"  He just deer-stared down into his pants.  As I took a tiny step for man, but a giant leap for mankind I cautiously peered into the unknown depths.  What I saw ....  what I saw, well, let's just say it was NOT a Babe Ruth Candy Bar!


At this point, I realized I had a super-gigantic problem on my hands: 1) The inside of his legs had poo-poo designs plastered predominantly above the knee on both legs.  2)  His  shoes were solidly welded on each foot, with double knots in his shoe laces.  And 3) those slim trousers had to gingerly be guided off his legs before they looked like a car mechanic's tar-removing rag!  My militaristic authoritarian mind clicked into gear.  First bit of business was the hind side.  I ordered him to bend over while I rolled tons of toilet paper off the roll, and began damage control..  And also remember, I was gingerly trying to keep the boat from rocking as I certainly did not want that Babe Ruth to dislodge.  At the same time, my eyes looked up to envision a toilet stool with an above-the- toilet seat mountain of toilet paper.  "Oh, brother," I murmured, "I better remember  to throw most of that toilet paper in the trash before we have a real problem on our hands flushing that toilet."  I quickly moved back to my little guy and discovered that the Babe Ruth mass had smashed on the floor....OH NO!!!  By the time I recovered from that shock and swiped it off the floor, I could see out of my peripheral vision ....NO, COULD IT BE?  NO, JAMES, NO!!!!!!  By the time I was about to shout, that little booger  flushed the flusher.  I SIMPLY stood there.... in a TOTALLY catatonic state.  It was like I was in La, La Land....."and the floods rose up and up, and the Red Sea covered up the promised land!!!!" 

It took me 20-30 minutes to get the floor wiped and get poor little James cleaned up.  It was a mess!  We called in the custodian and he brought up a bucket and mop and helped us out while I got James ready for his parents.  Poor guy!!!  Needless to say, that first nursery experience was embarrasing for me.  After that day, I stipulated I would serve in the nursery only with babies under 1 year old!!!

THE COLD, HARD TRUTH ABOUT MY THANKSGIVING DAY

My description yesterday of our family holiday may give readers the impression that events sailed rather smoothly through the waters of a stressful few days.  Actually, the logistics of the Thanksgiving meal with all the company, including five grandkids, did go rather flawlessly.  However, I am coming clean with a significant factor in all of this:  THE DAY STUNK FOR THE WILD AND CRAZY GRANDMA. 

You see, I deal with chronic illness.  I have had quite a medical rap sheet: a brain aneurysm which resulted in a hemorrhage, a diseased spine involving two back surgeries, neurally mediated syncopy, cancer, heart attack and several chronic illnesses.  Of these chronic pain issues, my migraine headaches are the worst.  I've had them since the 70's and I've had to deal with headaches up to 3-5 times weekly.

So Thanksgiving morning at 4:50 am, I woke up with a doozie.  It was a physically miserable day for me!  It is as if I become a different person when these hit.  Anyone who suffers with chronic disease, I am sure, will understand the frustration of the unpredictability of this uncertain condition.  It is so hard to plan events, especially with babysitting the grandchildren, trying to be all that I want to be for my kids.  I know some of you struggle with fibromyalgia.  Maybe we all should get together and support each other through these trials!!! 

Thanks for bearing with me as I took on the character of "Debbie Downer."  I am just a wild 'n crazy grandma who believes in being transparent and honest.  God bless you today!!!!

PULLING YOUR HAIR OUT WORRYING ABOUT THE HOLIDAYS AND WHAT TO DO WITH THE GRANDKIDS?? LET ME HELP!!!

Holidays can be so stressful in and of themselves.  Throw in a handful of grandkids and the noise level can escalate to ear-shattering deicibels.  As you may know, I've been a grandmother for almost 17 years now.  Hopefully, I've learned some things!!!  I want to share some holiday traditions and tips that have helped our family get through the holidays.  The photographs are from Thanksgiving almost two weeks ago.  Obviously, what I will share can be adapted for any family holiday, especially when some of the kids and grandkids spend the night!!

DECLARE FLEECE PAJAMA NIGHT

THE NIGHT  BEFORE THE HOLIDAY!!!

Steve, Sarah and the kids arrived on Wednesday night before Thanksgiving, all the family decked out in their fleece pj's.  In this photograph, Reese and Finley had just entertained us with a dance and gymnastic program so you can't see their (as Reese calls it) "comfy clothes."  Actually, they appear rather dour, but look at their father!!!!  He's the one on the far right....STEVE!!!  You know what?  Steve has an attitude, I do believe!  Perhaps it is because I had him go to the pizza joint IN HIS FLEECE PAJAMAS to pick up the pizza for our supper....reckon that's the problem??  It was great fun that night.  We put the girls down and settled in for a raucous tournament of Rook.  I won't mention if the gals beat the pants off the guys:)

HOLIDAY SHAVING CREAM TRADITION

This tradition has been the longest-standing tradition with our grandchildren.  When Ashlan was only two years old, Grandpa would pull her into the bathroom while he was shaving and plop some white goop on her little nose!!!  She was delighted, and each grandkid since thinks it is great fun.  (And for you skeptical safety geeks, we have had NO SHAVING CREAM IN THE EYES!!!!)  This was little Harper's initiation ceremony into this tradition.  She is observing her grandpa with curious wonder!



PICK THE HEAD CHEF (NOT GRANDMA!)

ALLOW ALL FAMILIES TO CONTRIBUTE A DISH

Steve is our HEAD CHEF typically for Thanksgiving.  Above, he is busy at the stove....I'm telling ya, this guy knows how to man a kitchen!!!  He soaks Tom Turkey in a brine solution all night long which produced the best-tasting turkey I ever done had!!!!  Carey contributed her hit dessert of apple crisp, her best-selling corn casserole and ramen noodle salad.  Notice my 8-yr.old Lauren looked like a million bucks in her new Thanksgiving outfit!!!

KEEPING THE GRANDKIDS HAPPY

AND BUSY WHILE ADULTS ATTEMPT TO VISIT!

This card table contains most of the stuff I used to entertain the kids for Thanksgiving.  I'll try to explain how these items represented all their activities.

1.  On the right hand side of the table pictured are Thanksgiving decorations that adhere to glass windows.. When all the kids first arrived, I allowed them to apply them on whatever window in any room they chose.  They were running all over the house in pure delight.  The larger decorations on the bottom left were hung from the entry ceiling.  For this project, Grandma had to help them as we needed a ladder to reach the 3M hooks.  I used nylon thread and had these all ready to hang the day before Thanksgiving. 

2.  Notice that I covered this card table with butcher paper.  I buy this at a Ben Franklin store.  It is inexpensive and comes in large rolls.  I used masking tape to secure the paper on the underside of the table.  The washable markers on the bottom right corner were available to the children as they waited for the food to get ready.  I asked them to be "artists" and create something for Thanksgiving.  They could scribble anywhere as long as it was on the paper!!!  In addition, I had assigned them a special Thanksgiving picture I had obtained at the children's library that said "Thanksgiving."  Right before the adults sat down for our family holiday dinner, I hung these "works of art" on both sides of Grandma and Grandpa's "real art" above our buffet.

Having their art next to this beautiful abstract painting made the kids feel like real artists.  They knew Grandma valued their hard work, and I didn't shudder using masking tape on our dining room walls!!!!

3.  At the top of the card table are masks and and a costume out of the dress-up trunk in the Suzee Room.  After Thanksgiving dinner, I announced to the children that they would use the masks and the costumes to present a Thanksgiving play for all the rest of us.  They were so excited to perform.  My sister Sandy from Ohio just moved to our town to live with my Millie mom.  She is worshipped by the kids, and I had asked her to be the play's director!



Welcome Sister Sandy
She's almost as crazy as the wild n' crazy gramma!!