GRETA GARBO? CLARK GABLE? BRAD PITT? HOW'S ABOUT THE WIGGLES??????

                                          YEAH!!  IT'S MOVIE NIGHT!!!


All twelve of my kids love "Movie Night."  They love to go down to our "theater" room and grab a fuzzy, warm blanket and cuddle up with Grandma or Grandpa for a good flick!!  It has to be in this room for some reason and Grandma MUST pop some popcorn!!

                                          THE THEATER ROOM


I hold so many good memories of my brood and I watching movies like "Anne of Green Gables," Tarzan," "Lion King," "Simon Birch," "Snow White," "Cinderella," "Peter Pan," "Alice in Wonderland," "The Wizard of Oz," the list goes on and on!!  And I ask myself, why are these times so special???  Maybe it is those parts of, for example, in "Tarzan," when baby Tarzan winces his one eye and makes an "eeee" sound and the kids and I laugh so hard we have to play it over and over!!!!  Or maybe it is the sad times when Simon Birch dies and we have to discuss the realities of life together....taking the fear out of their little minds!!  Or could it be in "The Wizard of Oz" when the witch flies around and my 4 and 5 year olds move in and cuddle for reassurance that Grandma will make them safe???

I guess "Movie Night," in the final analysis, brings us closer together, opens up communication, affirms that time spent with each other is really what relationships are all about!!!  Yes sir-eeee!!!  The wild 'n crazy grandma will never, EVER regret these sweet times together!!!!



                                                   

MY BIG BOMB .... CAMP GRANDMA!!!!

                                              THE GREAT COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF!!!


If ya all think everything always goes well for the wild 'n crazy grandma, THINK AGAIN!!!  OK, here's the deal.  Matt and Carey dials me up on the 'ole phone in March of 2008 and says, "Our two poor chillen's  don't have no place to stay while we's go to a Four Seasons Luxury Hotel in Venzuela for several days.  You'n don think ya'll can take care of them poor lit'l ones?????"  Of course, being the confident, all-together woman that I am, I assert, "BRING IT ON!!!!  I'M GONNA GET THESE KIDS STRAIGHTENED OUT THE GOOD OLD FASHIONED WAY!!!  WE IS GONNA HAVE CAMP, LEARN HOW TO LIVE OFF THE LAND!  LEARN HOW TO KILL DEM POSSUM AND COONS.....SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST TECHNIQUES OF WHICH I KNOW ABSOLUTELY NOTH'N BOUT!!!!

As soon as Lauren and Carter arrive for this structured, disciplined week, I hand them orange "Camp Grandma" shirts, survival bags, and hats for sun protection.  With whistle around my neck, I instruct them to line up behind me and begin marching out to the back yard.  Registration first takes place with Laura Berkner greeting them outside.  We begin our morning work-out accompanied by "Bum, Bum Bum Bum Bumblebee"!  What fun I am having!!!  This is great!!!!  I'm the BEST gramma ever!!!!!

THEN, I LOOK AT THEM CHILDREN'S FACES:  FALLEN COUNTENANCES, TEARS IN EYES, SHOULDERS SLUMPED, AND LAUREN'S NEXT WORDS:  "Grandma, do we HAVE to go to Camp Grandma???"

I think about all the preparation for this FUN week!!!  I start to choke up at the thought of not being able to sing "I Know a Chicken."  And then Grandma's DARK SIDE COMES SLITHERING OUT.....do these kids know how much WORK I've done to make them HAPPY?  Making "Camp Grandma" shirts, bags, collecting songs, preparing the mess hall, for goodness sake?????????????  AND THEN TO THINK THEY'LL NEVER KNOW ABOUT THE AMERICAN RED-BREASTED ROBIN!!!!!!  Now tears come to MY eyes!

Now, y'all, dont ya worry about the wild 'n crazy lady in the "Camp Grandma" shirt.  She done get herself through all dem tears and bawlin.  She sat with her therpist and spilled it all out!!  The grief is past....the future is bright, and she done learn one thing:  SHE AIN'T NEAR AS SMART AS SHE RECKONED HERSELF TO BE!!!

Ladies and Gentlemen: From the Land of Imagination: SUZEE ! ! !

THE SUZEE ROOM!!!

Two years into my grandma days, all of a sudden Suzee appeared!!  Ashlan, a toddler, was up at Grandma and Grandpa's house quite often.  During those days, I have a vivid memory of the moment when Suzee was born.  Ashlan and I were sitting on our bed with the white fluffy comforter.  I looked into her sweet little face  and asked her, "Would you like Grandma to tell you a special story?  A story about a little girl, I'm sure she was two years old just like you!"  Her eyes enlarged, her attention fixed!  "Well,  this little girl had brown hair, brown eyes, and her name was (at this moment my brain, throat and tongue created "Suzee") Suzee!!"  Now, mind you, I had no idea where this story was going!  THIS IS THE BEAUTY OF SUZEE STORIES -- YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT THEY'RE ABOUT!!!!  The very first Suzee story was about a little toddler who played in the woods and discovered a family of rabbits.  Suzee and the gray, white-tailed baby rabbit became fast friends.  They danced in the woods, They played "Ring Around the Rosie."  Ashlan was hooked, and I had hoped I had instilled solid morals to the drama!  Obviously, as more grandchildren arrived and as they grew older, I always wanted Suzee to reflect the age and personality of whichever grandchild was listening to my story. As my kids grew to be around seven years old, they always asked for "funny" Suzee stories. For instance, one time Suzee went to the zoo with her parents.  She loved monkeys, so much so that she sneaked into their cage (which locked behind her!) and she spent the night with them.  Lo and behold, Suzee woke up with a monkey's tail growing on her "hiney!"  Such are the predicaments in which Suzee finds herself.  (I know you readers are thinking I am certifiable!!!)  But I gotta say, these kids love it and tons of laughter emerge!!!  As my older grandkids reach adolescence, they enjoy Suzee "mystery" stories or ones in which Suzee travels abroad.  All of them have learned to put on their "THINKING CAPS" before Grandma lets theses stories flow.  It is like "stream of consciousness" storytelling.  I would admit that sometimes, what comes out is totally nonsensical!!!  That's OK.  We all get a good laugh.  To model imagination, creativity is a gift all of us can give them, in our own, unique ways!

The picture above is one of my "Suzee Room."  I created this room after my daughter moved out to the dorm world.  I wanted my grandchildren to have a place where they could create, imagine, and play whatever they could dream to play!  On a wall that is not pictured, the bottom half is all chalk board.  They can write, draw on the wall to their hearts' delight.  There is a table, canvas, easel where the kids can finger paint, swirl shaving cream, or use acrylic paints on framed canvas.   A purple antique chest holds dress-up clothes for both boys and girls.  The girls do love to dress as princesses!!!  And, oh boy, do they love the little girl make-up kits!!!  Antique jewelry boxes hold garage sale jewelry, the gaudier, the better!!  Their paintings hang on the wall!!  I have eaten many meals that come from the Suzee kitchen!!!  And, incidentally, when more than one family comes to Grandma's house, it is nice to tell all the kids, "Stay in the Suzee Room!!!"  That order is gladly obeyed!!!

GRANDMA!! LOOK!!! COTTON CANDY IN THE SKY!!!!

Seeing the world through the eyes of a child is like (1) looking through a kaleidoscope; (2) a still-shot photograph; or (3) a picture taken while spinning on a merry-go-round!!!  Consciously crawling inside the heads of our kids is a trip!!!  We appreciate the the beauty that awes them!!!  They take time to enjoy a tiny lady bug!  And sometimes their little body's energy exhausts us as toddlers at a park run to swings, slides, and seesaws!  They are amazed at our world, exploring, discovering!


Understanding how kids think can be quite amusing.  Last year my daughter-in-law Carey asked me to pick  up Lauren and Carter after school.  I parked my jeep in the parking lot and walked with myriads of other parents to the entrance of the elementary school,  awaiting the flood of kids emerging from the doors at 2:50 pm!  The bell blared and the frontal attack opened up with screams, darting kids with oversized backpacks, and parents dodging bullets of children running with reckless abandon!  Carter was by my side within minutes, but I strained my eyes to get sight of my Lauren girl.  No where to be seen!  I asked Carter what color clothes she was wearing.  He thought she had on a purple top and jeans.  Minutes passed; they felt like hours.  The school houses over 300 kids so locating a 2nd grader with purple was like finding Waldo in a sea of blue and red!  As the crowd thinned out, I started to be somewhat concerned.  With Carter leading the way, we walked inside the school heading toward Lauren's classroom.  No Lauren.  As we walked back toward the exit doors, I spotted the office and thought I better ask the school secretary to page her over the sound system.  Over what seemed like a 100 square mile area the system blared:  "Will Lauren Olivia  please come to the office.....LAUREN OLIVIA!!!"   Within two minutes Lauren was by my side with her little friend Sophie.  "Lauren!  Where have you been!!!"  I then realized I had become panicked!  "Grandma," Lauren looked up at me with those mellow brown eyes, "Grandma, why did you have them call me on the loud speaker????!!!!!"  I recognized her embarrassment and shame.  "Darling, Grandma didn't know where you were.....I was worried!"  She entreated, "But, Grandma, I knew where I was!!!!"  That was it!  Why in the heck was I worried when she knew where she was all the while!!!  DUHHHHHHHH!  GO FIGURE!


ODE TO LIFE
Dedicated to Harper Sophia

I'm here, but oh what a rough trip it was!
Bumping and grinding through tunnels so dark
Final expulsion was untold relief...
The brightness was blinding!  Welcome! Good grief!

I grew rather quickly; my world enlarged
Mommy and Daddy their touch recognized.
I couldn't yet see them; Daddy's cologne
lulled me to sleep as the clock ticked and groaned.


My eyes now are focused, colors I see!
The world surely is a great place to be.
I look in the face of familiar family:
Mommy, Daddy, and Finley, age three.


As I grow bigger, it's so fun to touch
my fuzzy brown teddy bear I love so much!
I hate green beans, I'm not fond of squash.
Particularly I detest being washed!

But all in all, this is a great place to be!
Life, full of wonders:  touch, feel, hear, taste, see!
Just live as a child...the beauty unveils!
Don't scream at a mouse; gotta love that cute tail!




BABY'S COAT

Smudges from pursed lips on door glass...
Dimpled hands extended, patting window...
Wandering eyes happily focus on human form.
It's Daddy outside digging black dirt
Planting red geraniums in spring chillness!
Little one crawls with determined purpose toward chair,
Her hand reaches for pink hooded coat.
As an ant drags food to the nest,
So baby pulls her frock toward finger-printed glass
With glorious expectation!



 

  

CURIOUS GEORGE, ANYONE? CONNECT 4? CANDY LAND?

When you have 12 grandchildren, it is IMPOSSIBLE to give them individual lovin' and attention one-on-one. When we have family gatherings, I realize the kids want to interact with their cousins so I give each one a hug and kiss and send them on their playful, merry way!  But if I invite Lauren, for instance, to come up alone to Grandma's, then brother Carter feels badly.  Or Reese feels slighted.  You get the picture.  Consequently, your wild 'n crazy grandma has devised a system to take care of this problemo!!!  I've instituted "Special Days" for the kids who live close to me. Last Friday was Carter's Special Day.  (Lauren, Reese, and Finley had already had theirs!)  On his day, he was the head kingpin!  Whatever he wanted to play, whatever he wanted for supper......HIS WISH WAS MY COMMAND!!!   By the time his 24-hour stint of pure, self-indulgent bliss ended, he told me, "Grandma, this has been awesome!!!"  I asked him what he liked the best (we went for an ice cream cone, he wrestled with Grandpa, he got to buy a toy at Ben Franklins, he played policeman with both of us, we played Bat Man and Bat Woman together, and all three of us watched a movie with popcorn!!!).  You want to guess his answer?

He replied, "I liked the PLAYING!!!"  Isn't it amazing that kids enter this fascinating world of make-believe, of imagination?  Grandmas, this is their world.  And if we want to connect and make lasting relationships with these kids, we must enter this world with them.  Are we willing to make those sacrifices?  Last Saturday Carter wanted me to be Bat Woman....(I would have rather sat down and read books together!!!)....but I got up off my duff and started swingin' my  power disks right along side my comrade Bat Man.  We fought the Joker for probably two hours!!!   Whew!!!  I was pooped.  By the time I drove him to his mom and dad's, I told both of them I had to concentrate to remind myself that my true identity was "Barb" the adult.

Here's some observations my 16 years of grandparenting have given me.  My kids like to communicate with me when I bend down, EYE TO EYE, and listen to them, play with them, communicate.  I am on the floor  quite a bit, or on a bed talking to them with that "eye connection."  I realize that, like myself, some of you may have physical limitations with literally getting up off the floor or even a chair.  But we can be creative and find ways to talk to our kids physically on their level.

Another observation:  can we give ourselves permission to LAUGH?  And I don't mean a brief chuckle.  I'm talking about hearty, tears-running-down-the-face, BELLY LAUGHING!  When Carter and I were actively engaged in battle with one of the Joker's cruel ploys, I flung my sword with utter abandonment, forgetting the sheath was still on it!!!  Let me tell ya.....that sheath whistled through the air a distance of probably 10 feet!!!  Carter found that excruciatingly hilarious.  Both of us fell on the floor, dying with laughter.  We laughed about that incident every time he brought it up!!!  (GUESS WHAT?  - Carter will remember that precious moment, and so will Grandma!!!) 

 

RESPECTING A CHILD'S PERSONHOOD

                            Son James with Will, #11 Grandchild

When you have 12 grandchildren - Harper, Finley, Reese, Will, Noelle, Caroline, Carter, Lauren, Jeremiah, Asher, Reilly, Ashlan -- you have temperaments and personality types all across the spectrum!  In all four of these families, it amazes me that kids born of the same parents can differ so much!!!  I guess what I said yesterday about us grandmas holds true for these kids of ours --they are all unique!  All four families (coming from yours truly) have diverse family dynamics:  Jeremy works in insurance in the city of Phoenix, Matt is an installation artist and sculptor, Jay is a bank manager out east where everyone talks funny (we'll take a toe-er of the building instead of tour!  Or they wear sneakers instead of tennis shoes!!!), and Steve is in insurance and travels all over the United States (code for we never see him!)  Soooo....these grandchildren are as different as night and day!  And, I might add, when we are all together (which is rare!) the words to describe the experience are:  bedlam, chaos, mass confusion, anarchy, hearing impairment, and catatonic disorder!

Big Sister Fin Lovin' on Baby Harper

                                         

 As different as these 12 kids are, I have learned how important it is to respect who they are as persons.  Each of them is unique, like a hidden treasure.  We open up that treasure box to unleash all those valuable jewels, money and gold!  But I always remind myself that each treasure box has different hidden wealth.  That's what makes being a grandma so interesting, unpredictable, and, yes, challenging!!!  I cannot demand that one child fit in the mold of someone he is not!  That is part of respect!  It is easier to respect adults rather than little ones.  Yes, yes, yes...I know that children need to be disciplined, guided and all that.  But I am talking about the attitude we have toward children.  Do I respect their personhood?  The key to respecting a child, in my mind, is to LISTEN to them.  Their little minds work faster than they can speak...it takes patience for us to hear what they want to say.  And listening takes TIME.

The word "respect," according to the Webster's Dictionary, means "esteem, prize, and to avoid violation."  Are my responses to my 12 grandchildren ones that show an attitude of prizing them?  Do they feel esteemed when they interact with me?  And do my responses ever violate them?  Let me give you a recent example of how this can work.  I was visiting my daughter last week.  Her oldest, Reese, is six years old with the sweetest disposition ever!  She came up to me and we hugged (I always greet each of the kids with a hug and kiss purposely to respect their presence when I first see them).  We visited and I suggested to her that she write a story for me while her mommy and I talked.  About 15 minutes later she ran into the room, smiling and extending her arm, fingers clutching a piece of torn-out, lined notebook paper.  "Grandma, here is my story!"  Pride was written across her face.  I took the priceless story and noticed that under her story was a picture of a little girl with brown hair and blue eyes, dressed in a green slack outfit with a matching green backpack.  Here is her story with my parenthetic translation:

                                   Wons (once) tare (there) was a litte (little)

                                            girl name Aliabeth (Elizabeth).

                                 She was going to scool (school).  Todaf (today)

                                           it was hre (the) frst (first) day ofe (of)

                                                    scool (school).  She had so

                                                               much fun.

HOW PRECIOUS IS THAT???!!!  THIS GIRL IS THE NEXT JANE AUSTEN!!!  

I squeezed her, physically communicating my pleasure with her creative endeavor.  I told her that was the best ever!!!!

Now, I'm an English teacher.  English teachers don't like misspelled words!!!  But I would never, never, ever squelch that creativity.  Her teachers have a spelling class to teach them how to spell.  Please, grandmas....never criticize punctuation or spelling on creative writing.  That can wound their creative hearts.  Little ones deserve our respect!