2011 TOP FIVE LIST FOR GRANDMAS

THINGS FOR WHICH WE ARE THANKFUL

#5  The best things about being a grandma are:

• Rocking my new-born grandbaby to sleep
• Reading stores to squirming preschoolers with eager faces who hang onto every word you read to them!
• Listening to my grandkids revealing their worlds to me

#4  The definition of "grandmothering" is.... "allowing GOD

      to love my grandchildren through ME."

#3   Words Grandmas love to hear from their grandkids:

• "Gramma, you're so beautiful," as she rubs her fingers through my hair.
• "Gramma, your macaroni and cheese is the BEST!"  (I use Kraft Mac and Cheese with real butter....NAUGHTY GRANDMA...SHAME ON YOU!)
• "Gramma, pleaseeeeee!  Can I come up and stay overnight at your house, PLEASE?!!!

#2  Grandchildren keep you humble, grounded in reality,   

      psychologically stable!!

• "Grandma, what are those ugly freckles all over your hands??  Ewwwwwww, you have a huge one on your face......YUCK!"
• "Grandma, you have bad breath.  Go get some of Mommy's gum....I don't wanna sit by you!"
• "Grandma, why are my hands smooth and soft and your hands are wrinkly and feel bumpy?"                                

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And now the #1 reason for which I am thankful:

#1: MY FAVORITE PLUMBING FIXTURE IS. . .                  

     THE TOILET!!!

     I am thankful for toilets for a number of reasons.

• They are INSIDE.
• They FLUSH.
• They, unlike outhouses, prevent the stench from becoming a reeking fug.

      Just imagine potty training a 3-yr. old princess through a

      foot of snow en route to the outhouse, teeth chattering in

      the chilling wind and greeting darkness with a lit match

      or candle, only to view a splinter-infested toilet seat. 

      Then, behold, as you pull down her panties before lifting

      her upon the throne, your hand feels soaked underwear

      as she cries, "Gamma, I wet my panties!"