SPECIAL DAYS
Can you believe the month of February will be here in only four days? And February always induces in my mind visions of cupids and hearts dancing in the starlight of a romantic, cozy night with my husband! We humans are created for LOVE!!!
When my husband and I were parenting our four young children, one of our greatest frustrations was trying to be equal in giving out our love and attention. We found that if we did something special for one child, the others were moping around feeling unloved, forgotten, and in the depths of despair. Frenetically running around trying to appease four emotional constitutions of varying temperaments is an exhausting endeavor!
We had to utilize our innovative creativity!! Here's what ended up being one of our most beneficial child-raising concepts: SPECIAL DAYS!!
SPECIAL DAY PLATE
When my husband and I were parenting our four young children, one of our greatest frustrations was trying to be equal in giving out our love and attention. We found that if we did something special for one child, the others were moping around feeling unloved, forgotten, and in the depths of despair. Frenetically running around trying to appease four emotional constitutions of varying temperaments is an exhausting endeavor!
We had to utilize our innovative creativity!! Here's what ended up being one of our most beneficial child-raising concepts: SPECIAL DAYS!!
SPECIAL DAY PLATE
We assigned each of the four children plus my husband and myself one specific day of the week. For each child we chose the day of the week on which they were born. (Obviously, if you have more than seven children or the problem of, let's assume, three kids born on the same day of the week, you will have to adapt to meet your particular needs.) Jeremy was born on a Wednesday, so his Special Day was Wednesday. Sarah was born on a Thursday, so every week Thursday was her Special Day, and so on and so forth.
This cycle was honored week in and week out. The purpose of the tradition was to model giving love and honoring the person whose Special Day it was. Each night at supper, the Special Person of the day received the above plate. We asked the kids to show love to the special person in a unique way. Sometimes Matt would offer to complete Jeremy's chores on Jer's Special Day. On Sarah's Special Day, for instance, her brothers might write her special notes of encouragement. I remember one week when Jamie gave his dad his most prized baseball card on Bill's Special Day. Bill will never forget that act of sacrifice and love from that little guy!
In addition, if Mom or Dad wanted to take Sarah to the ice cream shop on her Special Day, the boys knew their time would come on their Special Day. It really took the "heat off" of us fearing we would treat one or the other child unfairly.
Our family's Special Day tradition has been a sweet memory of giving love to each other, in addition to solving a stressful parental dilemma! We are beginning to employ this as grandparents, as well, and our grandkids love it.
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The perception of showing favoritism is a bugaboo that grandparents face, too. I love the idea of Special Days. It might have to be fine-tuned a bit, since we don't see grandchildren on a daily basis, but I'm sure a wild and crazy grandma can figure out how to apply the concept!
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