I'm telling ya...this Arizona air is giving me a high!!!:) Another day of hiking and I feel exhilarated, like I'm a new woman! I'd almost like to trade in my profession (whatever that may be) and become an Arizona cowgirl. I'd live out in the dessert, have me some wild hawsees, learn how to lasso, go up thar to Wyoming and help drive them herds to heaven knows where! I'd hate to think where those herds actually do go, but that's another post. WE HAVE A SURVEY TO FINISH!! I sound like a persnickety teacher, don't I? Well, my condolences. Here are question #3 and #4. (Read previous post to see the first two questions to young moms.)
Question #3: Do you have any complaints in regard to how your parents or your spouse's parents grandparent your children?
More than one mom stated that they resent grandparents who criticize their form of discipline or take on the role of parents in disciplinary areas. Usually, the moms explained, it was not a case where the grandparents wanted to teach, instruct the kids as to why their behavior was inappropriate. Rather, it was that the behavior was simply irritating to the grandparents.
Another "burr in their saddles" was the moms' aversion to "Time Spent" versus "Spending Money to Buy Love." We all know kids in the end would rather have time than money, as alluring as money is! In addition, a controlling grandmother was a problem for another mom. In fact, she shared that this grandmother was described by one of her boys as "the granma who says she is gonna spank us!" According to Mom, she doesn't put any effort in pursuing a relationship with the boys whatsoever.
Finally, a mom of seven children stated that one of the kids' grandmothers truly cared for the children and fostered a loving relationship with them. However, because they live a long ways from them, she never attends the children's graduations, etc,, and the children probably see the grandma only 8 days a year. This distresses the mother. On the other side of the family tree, the grandpa is mean, crabby and makes little effort in knowing the kids.
Question #4: When your children become adults, what do you envision their memories will be of their grandparents?
Time spent chatting, watching movies together, going places together are probably the top activities in response to this last question. The parents of one of our families were born and grew up in the Netherlands. The children will always remember trips "across the pond" to see Grandma and Grandpa and all the cousins, aunts and uncles, etc.
Holiday memories were also mentioned, as well as the homes themselves. I thought that quite interesting. Place is significant. For example, I have had two of our twelve grandchildren ask me if they could buy our house after we are gone. The Suzee Room (see previous blog) is hopefully going to be a very happy memory for my kids!
In conclusion, the cooking expertise of a couple of grandmas here will be remembered for those great meals when they were just tots. Also, the aforementioned "Camp Chaos" will be remembered by the kids of another family interviewed. Can you imagine what happens at a camp in Colorado with 9 kids and no parents??? I bet they'll have stories for all eternity!
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